Transcript of Match Made in Marrow

Listener-supported WNYC studios.

Hey, this is Radiolab. I'm Latif Nasser. Today, as we are in the thick of the giving season, we have a story about a really remarkable gift giver and gift receiver.

Two people, basically, strangers who couldn't have been more different, but who managed to find a deep connection despite those differences through a single gift.

This episode was originally reported in 2017 by yours truly with Jad and Robert at the Helm.

Enjoy.

Wait, you're listening? Okay. All right.

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All right. You're listening to Radiolab.

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From W-N-Y-S-Y-C. See? Yeah.

Hey, I'm Chad Aboumrad.

I'm Robert Krowich. This is Radiolab. So we got an email from you.

Yes, you did.

Not long ago, our editor, Soren Wheeler and I, we got into a conversation with this woman.

I live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Her name is Janel Jenny.

I like the packers. Of course you do. I guess photographer would technically be my job, but I do a whole lot of different things. None One of which really pertain to the story at hand, but that's- Our story really starts when Janel sent an email to the Radiolab inbox, basically saying, I need your help. Yeah.

Something had happened to her that was-wondrous and unexplainable and very weird. As a result, Janel had found herself stuck in a story, a story told to hundreds of thousands of people all across the country. What's happening? Story that sits right smack dab in the middle of one of the biggest cultural divides in our country right now. You're going to see all of your faces. But it was a story that wasn't hers, and she wanted us to help her find a way to finally tell her story.

So to speak. Do you want me to just start telling you? Yeah, walk me up. Sure. Well, when I was 18, I went to a concert.

A rock concert.

Yeah, actually, it was a Warp Tour. So it's a festival of rock concerts.

Tons of bands on different stages all over the place. Janel is walking around between all the different stages and merchandise tables when she sees this tent.

Ten by ten white tent with just a little table in front.

A table with a sign on it that said- Be a bone marrow donor, sign up to be on the registry, save a life, something like that. This was rock music and good deeds brought together.

Essentially, right, which is a pretty good mix in hindsight.

So Janel read the sign and she thought to herself, I'll sign up. Sure. Why not? Yeah.

Did you know what bone marrow was? Yeah. You knew that that would mean that they take a really long needle and stick it in you and suck out bone stuff?

Yeah, I suppose at that point, that was probably not the four thought. I think the altruistic like, I'm going to do something. That was probably the main motivation.

All Janel had to do standing in front of that tent was sign some papers and swab her cheek because with a bone marrow donation, they actually have to figure out if you're a genetic match with someone who would receive the donation, which was part of what Janel thought was cool about it.

I always thought that it would just be an amazing opportunity to be the one person who could do something for somebody that literally no one else in the world could.

That's a deep connection with someone there.

Yeah. I don't know if either of you are only children, but it's... I am. Yeah. You know how there's just like, you have cousins, you've got friends, but at some point, there's not that, it sounds so stupid, but that biological connection, besides my parents or whatnot.

You missed the idea of someone who was muchly like you and muchly in your world and muchly- Yeah, and also even the need, like somebody out there dependent on me on that almost otherworldly level.

So Janel swabbed her cheek, signed the paper, and then about her normal life. Then about six months later, she got a call.

Yeah, it was a phone call to my landline. That's how long ago.

Oh, my gosh.

So what year are we talking here? No, it's 2009. Okay. It was a phone call, and I remember very specifically, it was a voicemail because I hadn't had the chance to answer it. They said something to the extent of, Hi, we're from the National Bone Mural Donor Registry. We've done some tests and we've narrowed you down to be a preliminary match for a patient. So we need you to come in and do some further tests that involve blood and stuff.

Did you think, Oh, no, I forgot that I did that? Or are you thinking, Oh, boy, or what were you- I was so overcome with emotion.

I remember just to think there's somebody out there that might be my person. So absolutely no hesitation on my end.

I went right-So Janel heads into the clinic because, well, so bone marrow, the stuff in the core of your bones, actually produces all your blood cells. And importantly, including your white blood cells, which are a key part of your immune system. So what you're doing with a bone marrow transplant is taking a healthy immune system out of one person and putting it into another person whose immune system is cancer or messed up in some way. The key is, though, because the immune system is that part of you that recognizes that's you from not you and it tax anything that's not you, you have to fool the new body into thinking that this immune system is them. The parts of your DNA that have to do with your immune system, a couple of key parts of that have to match with the her. That's what they're doing with Janel. They're taking her in to test her DNA to see if the stuff that marks out her immune system matches closely enough with this recipient so that the bone marrow transplant will work.

Then maybe a month later, I get another call, and this one I was able to answer, and they say, Well, we've done tests, and you are the ideal person in this 8 million person registry to donate for this patient. You are a perfect match. And will you do it? I was like, Absolutely.

Does that feel to you like the call of A destiny? Maybe this was meant to be then.

Yeah. There's something I feel that's bigger than myself that's happening. I can't really explain it yet at that point, but I know there's like, Okay, here's There's a big thing. So I go in, and unfortunately, to disappoint you, Robert, the way that I donated bone marrow wasn't actually the real bad way with the big needle.

I'm not disappointed. I'm grateful for whoever Have they come up with a small needle version?

Yeah. Well, what they- A straw or something? What they essentially do, and this is actually the far more common way of doing it now, is they inject you with all these drugs, and it is eight injections, that boost your white blood cell count up to astronomical heights. Do you know when you get sick, when your immune system kicks an overdrive and you feel sick, imagine that eight times over.

Just because- Like nauseous, achy, shaky.

So achy. Every bone hurt.

While Janel is feeling achy and sick, inside of her, her bone marrow is pumping out a bunch of new baby blood cells.

Unmatured stem cells that can really become almost anything.

Then they just go in and grab those cells.

They harvest you, I guess. You have a needle in both arms, and you pretty much sit still for 6 hours until they suck all your blood out of your body, put it in a machine, and give you back what they don't need. I think they've got about one of those little ivy bags.

Just a quart-sized plastic bag.

Full of my stem cells. Once you're done, they put some bandaids on you and they're like, All right, let us know if you need anything.

And do you know anything about what happens to your blood cells? Like who gets it or what?

Yeah, the whole registry is very strict about patient confidentiality, but they did tell me that it was a 29-year-old man with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. And literally, that's all I knew for a whole year.

Did you look that up in the-Oh, of course.

They did endless Google searches of 29-year-old man Acute lymphoblastic leukemia.

Trying to get a real peak.

I was like, oh, maybe he's worded it that way. And I didn't find anything, of course. But once that ear is up, if both parties agree, then we can talk. And that's It was really interesting because I definitely was looking forward to that year mark. But once that hit, I got cold feet. I really just wasn't ready to know exactly who he was. Then I was also worried that maybe this guy is a real piece of crap. Maybe he's a clan member or a criminal or something. So there's part of that, too.

So you're worried that you'd open up the sentinel and it would say, A formerly ill person robs He banks and hits old ladies.

Yes. Horrible man saved by Janel Jenny.

It's so stupid to say, but I thought that. So I did end up eventually sending this email or whatnot in, I think about October. It took them a couple of weeks to actually give my info to my patient and vice versa.

I was eating lunch with a friend of mine, and I remember having chips and guacamole.

By the way, my patient's name is Jim. So they gave Jim my info.

And my phone went off in my pocket. There was an email in my inbox, and there was a scanned PDF attached to this email, and I opened it up, and she had filled this out with her own hand. And I just broke. I totally... I wept like a little baby in a booth in a Mexican restaurant in the middle of Grapevine, Texas. And I got on Facebook. I saw a picture of her, and I was like, Oh, my gosh, it's going to I had gotten a Facebook friend request from said this guy named Jim Monroe in Texas.

And I was like, Oh, okay. I don't know anybody in Texas. And then it clicked all of a sudden. This is the guy. This is him. I can see his picture. I can look.

What does he look like?

Not very much like me. It wasn't Janel with shorter hair.

Oh, right.

Yeah. Tall.

6'4, I've got blonde hair.

Blonde hair, I think fake blonde.

I should say it's dying right now, but I have strawberry blonde hair.

But tall blonde hair, blue-eye, white guy. Blue eyes.

I'm very handsome.

Yeah.

What are you, by the way?

Short blonde hair, blue-eye person. Short, blonde-haired, blue-eyed person. I guess- Short, blonde-haired, blue-eyed person.

Okay, well, you're in the same.

Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. We could be cousins, I think.

Yeah. When I looked at all of his pictures and his wife, who was a model, and these kids were so adorable, and he tried I find as much as I can. As far as his profession, I was like, Oh, he appears to be some magician. I guess we'll talk about that later.

I don't even know. Why don't we just find out where you're from and where you were raised? Okay. Let's do it that way.

I was born in Orange County, California, Fullerton, California. I went to school in Anaheim, high school in Anaheim. I was a baseball player. So I ended up going. I was a very good baseball player. At the time, they were called the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Now they're just the Tampa Bay Rays.

Oh, you were that good?

Yeah. I turned down a professional baseball contract to go play at the University of Texas in Austin.

What did you play?

I was a pitcher. I was a hard throwing right hander and ended up getting, like I said, drafted and went to the University of Texas to play baseball. And that's what I thought it was going to be. I thought it was going to be a professional baseball player. And then my sophomore year of college, I blew out my shoulder. I had a surgery my freshman year and then came back and was thrown harder than ever, then did it again. So baseball was over.

Over at like 19? Like that's...

Yes, sir. It was a big kick in the head.

But he finished up school.

They maintained my scholarship as a medical redshirt.

Majored in business and psychology. Then moved up to Boulder, Colorado, got married and had a couple of kids.

One of my really good friends during this time was his name was Tennison, and he became one of my best friends. He wasn't just my best friend. He was like my brother. He was an athlete, too. So he was a former college football player. He had also lost his football career based upon an injury. Then also new magic An illusion.

Magic was actually something that Jim had been fascinated by ever since he was a kid.

Yeah. I saw a trade show magician when I was 10 or 11. It was at the Anaheim Convention Center of all places at an optometric convention. Both of my parents are optometrists And he was just doing trade show stuff at a booth.

Do you remember what he was doing?

He did a version of this trick called Cards of Cross. He made a cigarette appear.

Which he pulled out of your head or out of somebody's?

No, he just casually holding his hand and was holding a zigzag in the tips of his fingers, and he goes to light it, and there's a puff of smoke, and there's a real cigarette.

The thought you had at that moment was, I want to do that?

It was, how did he do that? And that is cool. And I'm going to go learn how that's done. So I just began to look at card tricks and read books on how all this stuff was done to figure out how it was done.

So when you met Tennis, they started practicing together and doing shows in front of friends and family. And pretty soon-Sure enough, we They started doing gigs. They started doing these shows at schools and festivals and stuff, and they would do these tricks, a lot of card tricks and number tricks, say, where you pick a random number and it would end up it was written on a piece of paper in the shoe an audience member or something like that. But then the show would turn into something else because the thing is, Tennison was a believer.

Overwhelmingly so.

Believer in God, you mean? Yeah, a Christian.

Tennison was very convinced.

After an hour or so of magic tricks- Just pure entertainment. Tennison would say to the crowd, This has been great.

We're going to take a quick break. We're going to give you guys a chance to take off because during the second part of this show, we're going to talk about what the Christian perspective is and why we believe this Christian thing. If you want to stick around, great. If you don't, take off.

Now, Jim says during this part of the show- Tennison, in particular, was way more of the evangelistic piece of this, and I considered myself more of a producer. Now, Jim had actually grown up going to church.

Yes. My parents went to Lutheran Church. I was at one point doing that. But still, at the end of the day, there was nothing it that seemed to be satisfying.

At this point in the show, Jim would stand back a bit as Tennison talked about how magic is actually all about the unseen and behind the veil of reality, there's a God watching over us. And Jim says he would be standing there on stage watching these people in the audience who are feeling this real connection with God.

However, I wasn't having that experience.

He's just like, I don't feel what they're feeling. And he started to think to himself, I didn't want to be the guy that said, Well, I'm a Christian because my friends were, or, I'm a Christian because I was raised that way.

I wanted it to be true.

And he just wasn't sure that it was. Right. Then after he and Tennis had been doing this show for a year and a half or so, Jim got a call. Tennison had been out hiking in the mountains just outside of Boulder. He was found in a river. His body was partially submerged just at the edge of the water at the base of a 40-foot cliff.

And A peaceful valley is what it was called. No one really knows how he passed away.

It looked like he might have actually fallen from the cliff. The police thought maybe suicide.

But it could be exposure to the elements, that thing.

Jim says he was just devastated.

He's probably the closest male friend I've ever had.

Just felt like he was in the bottom of a hole. Yeah.

Bottom of a hole, figuring it out. Best friend passes away. My wife and I, as a result, got into this really strange season where I'm depressed, she's depressed. We're pretty much on the verge of calling it quits. Then my leg starts hurting really badly.

We're in the leg?

Underneath my right knee.

Jim says he started popping Advil every day. At first, just a couple, then more and more.

I'm trying to gut it out.

Then he came home one day and he says the pain was so bad, he couldn't even get out of his car. So his wife was Look, we're going to the hospital now.

I'm sitting there in an emergency room, and this man walks into my room and he looks at me and he says, You have cancer.

Jim had leukemia, which is cancer of the blood cells.

The white blood cells inside of your bone marrow have literally exploded out of control. The reason why your leg hurts so bad is because your bone is breaking on its own.

From the inside.

Wow. He said, If you don't do anything, you're going to die in two months.

Just before Christmas of 2008, Jim checks into the hospital, and right away, they do two things. One, they put Jim on the bone marrow registry in the hopes that he can find a donor. Two, just to keep him alive while he waits, they start putting him through round after round of chemo.

And get this wicked concoction of stuff and then be let out.

He loses his hair. His body starts to fall apart.

All you can do at that point is just hope.

Like TikTok, TikTok, TikTok.

Tiktok, TikTok, yeah. Yeah. That's when you think you know what you believe to be true. Is in adversity. That's when you find out. For me, it was not a Christian of you. If there is an all-loving omnipotent, powerful being that makes the universe go around, then why would things like suicide or murder or rape exist in this constructed world of his?

Jim just couldn't get himself to believe in the existence of a God like that, or really any God.

It wasn't any rhyme or reason or purpose. It's just, This is my lot. This really sucks.

Then when he was at his lowest point- I remember driving back to Houston, Texas for more chemo, and my phone rang, and I didn't recognize the number.

I said hello, and this woman on the other line, she said, There's a one person that we've been able to identify on the planet. Out of all the databases, everything, there's one.

You are the ideal person in this 8 million person registry to donate for this patient.

I think about that. It was in the world.

You are a perfect match. Will you do it? I was like, Absolutely.

My wife and I were in the car together, and it was just tears. It was like, Wow. That's amazing.

So April 20th, and this is important to remember, April 20th was when I donated.

And as they were pulling the cells out of Janel's body up in One of those little ivy bags full of my stem cells. Down in Texas, Jim's doctors were telling him, Your bone marrow transplant is scheduled for April 23rd.

On April 23rd, the nurses, they come inside of your to celebrate your second birth. Then I remember Dr. Drahot telling me, Are you ready to put your boxing gloves on? But what he was preparing me for was a death. Come to find out later on, they pulled my wife out of my room, and they said, We're going to give this to him with all this medication. He could potentially receive this and reject this violently and pass away.

Because remember, they're essentially replacing Jim's immune system with somebody else's, in this case, Janel's, cells. In a very real way, they're replacing that part of Jim that determines who he is with someone who he clearly isn't. So there's a real chance that the body will just short circuit.

So they give this drug the nurse's nicknamed Shakenbake It's designed to basically wipe out whatever is left of Jim's immune system, his white blood cells. But inside of your IV, and your body just starts convulsing.

Then they put Janel's cells in.

And they monitored me.

Over the next couple of weeks, Janel's cells enter Jim's body, they get into his bone marrow, and they start producing new white blood cells, basically producing a whole new immune system. Eventually, Jim is cancer-free.

I mean, it's literally like new life. Now, I will say this. Some bells began to go off of my head a little bit.

Jim says before he even got the transplant, his doctor had come into his room and told him, You're going to be like a baby inside your mother's womb, literally being born again.

Because on April 23rd, and once again, this is their terminology, there's someone else that's going to be living on the inside of you, and this new system of blood is going to be your life. Why is that interesting? April 23rd, my new birthday is April 23rd. My old birthday is April 20th. My new birthday is on April 23rd. That's on the third day.

And on the third day is significant because of the biblical echo.

The biblical I go, yeah, I came back from whatever I was in because of the only blood on planet that could save me in my disease.

Does this land on you the way it sounds to me like it lands on you now, or did you go through a... What happened?

Those words, in particular, bells went off in my head.

Does that mean that you now suddenly believe in God again or for the first time?

I mean, it's a process, right? You follow, and then I think the puzzle pieces are all swirling and coming together. But everything changed on that demarcating day, April 23rd.

All thanks, obviously, to Janel. And not long after they got each other's information and saw each other on Facebook, they hopped on a phone call.

She gets on and I get on. But it's all like, Hey, oh, my gosh, this is crazy. I cannot believe this. Isn't this nuts? Yeah, this is so crazy. And And then she drops this on me. She said, I went and got a tattoo of a jigsaw puzzle piece on the very spot where they stuck that IV in my arm to pull out the new blood, knowing that I was the missing piece in someone else's life, and without me, that person wouldn't be alive. And I said, I was like, Do you have a ton of tattoos? She said, No, I have one. You know what Christians believe to be true, right?

What?

Is that their savior rolled up and showed them the very spot on his body where blood came out so that they would believe.

So you're just going down this road. You can't write this stuff, right? You're driving at 100 miles an hour towards this.

For me, it was like I was being introduced to a person. There was an experiential understanding of that which was going on behind the scenes of this existence that was answering my prayer.

The prayer is for... It's the prayer is called Are you there? That's the prayer.

Are You There, God. Basically, Jim saw Janel and her donation to him as almost more than just allegory, as like something close to a literal proof of the existence of God, like a very real, very present sign.

I told her that we need to meet. I said, Can I please bring you out to Dallas, Texas?

He said, I have to bring you to Texas, which is my nightmare. I'm just kidding. But absolutely. I wanted to go right into it.

I remember her tone. She's like, Yeah, sure. Super excited. So yes, I flew her to Dallas, Texas. Mic camera. You know what's coming now? I actually recorded I knew somebody you met. That's a girl saved my life.

Oh, really? Yeah. That's awesome. In the video, you see Jim standing at the bottom of this escalator in the Dallas Fort, where the airport, he's looking pretty thin and pale and nervous. Then the camera turns, and there's Janel. Hi. Coming down the escalator.

Starts like the last time. Hi.

They hug. Hi, little dad. Then his kids come up. Hi, can I walk too?

Oh, you're so cute.

Eventually, his wife.

Nice to meet you. Okay, so now you go home We go to his house.

To his home. Right. And he lives in a very big house outside of Dallas.

They had dinner with the family. And then once everybody else was heading off to bed, Jim and Janel started to talk.

And I think if I remember correctly, we were just outside by the pool and just talking and figuring out who each other was. And I was like, So, you know, magician? What is that? And he He started telling me about what magician he really is, and he is a Christian magician.

I'm sure that her mind, she's thinking, oh, my gosh, I just saved a Christian magician from Texas's life. Jokes on me. Isn't that wonderful?

When we come back, Janel becomes Jim's greatest magic trick.

So don't go away.

Okay, we're back. I'm Chad Abunrad.

I'm Robert Krollwich. This is Radio Well done.

Okay, well, let's return to a story from Soren Wheeler. Soren, you left us in the backyard. They were about to talk, right? Yeah. Sitting in Jim's backyard by the pool. He's basically telling her his whole story about his loss of faith and the cancer and how she saved his life. Then he tells her that right after she saved him, he started doing the Magic Show again, that show that he used to do with Tennis.

The show was called The Maze.

My name is Jim Monroe. This is The Maze.

We actually got to see Jim's show, and I have to say he's a pro. It's an impressive production. He gets big venues.

Are you over here ready to have some fun tonight?

Usually, a thousand people or so. There's crazy these or light show stuff. He does these really complicated illusions that are half Penn and Teller, half David Blaine.

For example, picking a random phone number out of the phone book. 4700. It ends up being someone in the audience.

Then their phone will end up hidden somewhere.

Something like that. They're very good.

Jim is telling Janel about all these tricks, but then he says…

The second half of the show is about us.

He explains that the magic show at this point ends. He tells people they can leave if they want to, and he starts to talk openly, confessionally to the audience.

Where I quickly found out that I had cancer.

In very personal terms about what happened to him. My wife and I raced down to M. D.

Anderson Cancer Center.

At a certain point, he shows a video.

I have chemo now.

They say that the stuff in the I was starting to kick in.

Because I can't keep anything now. He's in the hospital.

My mouth is dry.

Throwing up into a bucket, and he's pale, thin, huge circles under his eyes. Then he explains that right when he was on the edge of death- That at his lowest point, this This thing happened. A miracle happened.

She said, There is one person, just one.

When his blood was literally poisoning his own body, somebody constituted their blood on his behalf so he could be reborn, I guess. You have your blood on your behalf so that you can live again. Three days after his birthday.

On the third day, I came back from the bed because the only blood on the planet that could save me my disease.

So There's a whole three days thing there, which is a story of Easter and the rebirth. It's just... I mean, he sees this as definitive proof that there's a God.

I am either this statistical anomaly that continues to propagate this false ideology about supernaturalism and miracles also. I'm either that statistical anomaly. That's so wild, that's like being bitten by a shark and struck by lightning at the same time, twice in the same lifetime, or you might have to believe what I believe is true, and that is there is something bigger than behind the scenes. In his name is Jesus.

So yes, this is all being thrown at me.

And is he saying all this to you by the pool? Is it all comes tumbling out? Yeah. How are you feeling inside?

Stranger and stranger, going down the worm hole because I am an atheist in the sense that I don't believe in the tenets of Christianity. I don't believe really in the tenets of any established religion I've ever seen. Honestly, I just think that once things are labeled and your pigeonhold and the exclusivity of really any religion is the cause for a lot of problems throughout history. But faith can be beautiful, and there's definitely parts of me, and there's moments in my life that, boy, praying and really feeling like that was going out to somebody would feel great. But I just can't. I just can't do it. So at that moment, he's telling me this, and he's like, Well, you're here in Texas for this weekend, and would you be willing to come on stage for one of my shows so I can introduce you? Of course, I said yes.

Really? Of course? Of course, you said yes?

Yeah, of course. I've always looked at our story as something bigger than what he believes, than what I don't believe it's bigger. It's capital B, underline BOLD. It's big.

Partly because, Jim, at every show, he has the bone marrow registry people right there ready to sign folks up.

Because of the show they just saw, Well, he can get hundreds. I know that dozens of people have gone on to be matches. Wow. This was truly the culmination of from the moment I signed up to be on that registry, this felt like the zenith of this entire thing. So next night. At Texas Christian University, packed house.

Janel is in the audience.

I was in the front row.

During the second part of the show, when Jim goes through the birth part, he stops and he says, Guess what, everyone, that person who saved my life, she's here.

He has me walk up on stage. The crowd went wild. The first time in my life, I got a standing ovation.

Because you're Jesus. That's why the castle is crazy. It's because- Yes.

Yeah. All of these kids in the audience who are all pretty much my age as well at that point, are seeing my being on stage as quite possibly the biggest proof they've ever had that there is a God.

Will you know Was there any part of you that said, I shouldn't be here, or were you all there?

There was a part of me that felt a little bit of an imposter.

But for Janel, she says that feeling was was delayed just by the number of people that were lining up at the bone marrow donation table. The next time she had a chance, she did it again. And again. Again, she's now appeared at the end of the show around a dozen times all around the country, playing the role of Jim's personal savior. She says the more she did it, the more that feeling, that fraud feeling kept popping up, each time a little bit louder.

Yeah. There's parts of me, there's little fibers in my being that are like, Wow, if this is a sign, if there is a God, I'm a real jerk. This is such a beautiful and really literal story being told to me about, Hey, maybe there is a God.

She said she started to feel that if she's both perpetuating story and-refusing it.

There's a special place in hell for me.

This is why Janel got in touch with us, because she wanted us to help her figure out a way to tell a story that let her way of seeing the world into the room.

Let's stay tuned for that.

Okay, we're back. I'm Chad Abunrad.

I'm Robert Krollwich. This is Radio Lab, and we are telling you the story of a woman who saved a man's life. The man is so thankful that he comes back to Jesus, wants Christians across the country to hear his story, and wants this lady to help him tell it. But she's an atheist. We're now going to help her find a way to tell her side of the story.

Okay, All right. Are you guys... Is everyone there?

I'm here. Jim, can you hear us? Yeah, I can hear you guys. Janel, can you hear me?

I can.

How are you?

Our producer, Latif Nasser, actually started talking to Janel about what exactly she wanted to do, and they decided that we should just all get in the studio Jim and her and all of us, and see if we could hash it out. Okay. But I guess, like Janel, do you want to just talk through what we've been thinking?

Sure, I can try, and if you want to help me Latif. Sure. Essentially, Latif and I have been talking about what would be the best way for me to tell my side of the story, my side of our story, so to speak, without so much of the religious stuff. Stuff.

Yeah. So when are you guys going to do that? Maybe I missed the point. I'm sorry. So do you say we, as in we are going to do a version of that?

Well, I thought you could help me.

Oh, cool. Well, I would have no problem.

Yeah, because you are not only a magician with magic things, but also with words. So maybe if you could help me.

Yeah, totally. That's so interesting. My mind begins to spin.

At first we suggested maybe Janel could come out at the end of one of Jim's shows and just read a statement or something. Jim said, That's probably not going to work.

As you guys know, in this world, audiences come based upon how things are marketed and booked.

Jim said he has to worry about as a business, the expectations of his sponsors and even the audience who are looking for a certain thing.

I'm just thinking like a producer because I'm totally up to it.

So we were like, Okay, fair enough. Maybe it could be a Q&A after the show or something like that. I don't know.

I'd have to really process it, but I'm totally open to it. I would always love to help Janel help her put it all together.

So Essentially, we landed on a plan. Jim was going to be doing his show up in St. Cloud, Minnesota, and we decided, well, we could just do a show with him and Janel the next night. So along with producers Lotef Nasser and Annie McEwen, we headed St. Cloud, met up with Janel, and that night we went to all go see Jim's show. It's a pretty big venue. There was probably like a thousand people there, all college students. Of course, because Janel was there, right after he did the personal journey back to God, Check this out. I don't look too much.

She's here today.

Yeah, she is. It's a little bit hard to hear, but there was literally a shatter of energy that went through the crowd at that moment. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm welcoming this stage as Janel Jenny.

Come on up here. Yeah, I got to accept that.

Well, you're the much better speaker than me. But what I can say is I encourage all of you to consider signing up.

So Janel just pointed out that the National Bone Mural Registry would be there that night, and she encouraged everybody to sign up and have a chance to save a life and do something good.

So please do that or at least consider it.

She has a tattoo. Oh, yeah. Then Jim had her show the whole audience her puzzle piece tattoo. I have a tattoo.

Only once, no.

There it is right there. Save that girl.

And once Janel had stepped back off the stage.

Before we close, I wanted to know if I can pray for you. Do you guys still pray in Minnesota? Yes. The guy down here is like, Hell, yeah, we do. All right, good. I'm going to pray. All right, so would you mind? I told you you could leave. I want you to pray this prayer with me. Just say this in your heart. Say, Lord Jesus, tonight, I choose to turn and stop living for myself, my own version of my own story, I want to trust you. I don't have all the answers, but I know you do. And tonight, by faith, I choose to follow you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you in the midst of all of this randomness that I experience coming after me for being jealous for me. I love you, too. In Jesus' mighty name, Amen and Amen.

Then, just before everybody stepped out.

Also, this is very important.

I'm going to be here another night.

I'm going to be hearing that we're going to be here tomorrow night. Have you guys heard of the podcast, Radiolab? Have you heard of Radiolab?

That was about three people that shouted out. They're in the audience. I'm just going to say that. I'm not going to point them out, but they're in the audience. Nobody cared.

Ready Lab is going to be holding this forum. Now, Jenny is going to tell her side of the story of what happens to her through this process. All right? All right.

After the show, we actually got a chance to talk to some of the people from the audience. Then hearing the whole three days thing, I was like, Oh, my God.

That's…

Wow. Oh, my God. I couldn't believe that she was actually here. She's here in there.

Think about it. I would have been so shocked to sit right next to her.

Pretty much everybody was totally floored by actually getting to see Janel in person, and they all seemed to take her story the way Jim does. She was a visual example of everything.

Put a face to this whole thing.

So many things fell in mind where you just have to believe, in my opinion. Yeah. The next night- Good evening, everyone.

Welcome.

My name is Mark Springer. With much less fanfare in a much smaller room, maybe the people there or so, with the help of the Religious Studies program at St. Cloud University. Hear me okay?

Yes, there I am. Oh, my gosh.

We did Janel's thing.

All right, so I'm Robert Fowich. I am one of the co-hosts of a public radio program because they called Radiolab. I want to introduce who's also Sauron Wheeler, who is our managing editor. That's him. He's going to be adding his two cents from time to time. We're a very democratic show and nobody controls anything and everybody pitches in, so he will, too. I want to begin by just telling you a story.

We brought Janel up on stage But Janel, could you just come up here and sit?

I guess, might as well sit here.

We told her the whole story of donating and then waiting a year to find out who Jim really was.

I had no idea that- Then we brought Jim on stage.

Jim, the year is up.

He talked about his whole process of recovery.

Trying to get your bearings.

He talked about how grateful and thankful he was. Then we turned back to Janel.

Let's make this a little more complicated. Sauron, could you just run I asked you how you felt in that first round, and this is what you told me in the interview.

There was a part of me that felt a little bit of an imposter.

Why would you use the word imposter? Why did you choose that word?

Is this where we should start getting into the meat and potatoes of my thoughts?

I think so.

Part of me, and at that time, especially, thought that I'm up here, again, as this pretty hard and fast proof or very compelling narrative for a lot of people and their faith that I don't particularly share at all.

Can I ask a question? Yeah. But knowing that- You knew it at that point because we talked about that in the back. But I was very concerned knowing that you didn't agree with what I believe to be true, that you would feel like you were in that spot. That's why I asked you.

Of course, and I could have declined. Yeah.

But at the same time, it doesn't make anything different in the fact that it's still what it is.

Exactly. I would have done it regardless of whatever it was. If your whole theme of your show was how great the Dallas Cowboys for it, and it got everybody to join the bone marrow registry, I would have got up there in a cowboy's hat. Honestly, Jim, every time I see your show, even though I don't adhere to the religious tenets of it, I still get that feeling. And everybody, all my family, all my friends, whatever they're religious, even my Muslim friends that I've told the story, get that feeling. And what that feeling is, is a little intangible, but I think it's something even a little bigger than... That sounds so crappy to say bigger than Jesus. That's really blasphemous, but I can't think of a better way to say it.

Can you explain what that means?

Well, that there is good in this universe and there is good in everybody, and it is regardless of... The goodness is at the top of the list of you and everything else as follows. Your religion and your race and where you're born and your favorite pizza toppings and all of But at the very top is good with the capital G, it's underlined, too.

All right, Jim. In your show, you have a rather gorgeous take on moral relativism. You have a string of thoughts that this idea about being good and doing no harm and living as ethically as you know how is satisfying to some people, but in your view, it isn't really enough.

Yeah, this is where we… I mean, obviously, there's some disagreement here. I think that there is good, and I think that there is evil in this world. I think that people in and of their own, left to their own vices, left to their own devices, I think that they struggle with being good. I think that even on our best day, I think that we fall short.

In hearing her account, you just say, You're thinking what? That she's not... Where does she fall short? Where does this idea lose you?

It doesn't lose me. I think it's phenomenally good. I'm not acknowledging as good. I just think that for the Christian, it's not about being good or bad.

What is it about?

I think it's about having a relationship with God. Does that make sense?

I guess it makes sense- At that point, Jim, he made it clear that he definitely wasn't condemning Janel because she didn't have a relationship with God. But then we took a different approach. We started talking about the unlikeliness of this whole story, which is one of the things that Jim talks about in his show. At that point, I decided I should jump in. I say this, and I really say this only because it is our job as a show that when we hear a story like this, we dig in, we investigate, and we do that from a frame that's really focused on math, facts, science. A couple of things happen to you if you happen to be in my position. You run across stuff like this, and I'll just read from the Be a Match website. A patient's likelihood of finding a match donor on Be the Match Registry is estimated to be between 66 and 97%, the chances that you'll find a 10 to 10 match in the way that Jim and Janel were 10 to 10 matches is around 50%.

Wait a second. Wait a second. That doesn't make sense to me.It doesn't becauseIt were 8 He had a million people.

She was the one. Yeah, let me say that this does not actually contradict with Jim and Janel's experience of it. For that to happen to Jim, it is truly staggering. It could be one in a trillion. The way winning a lottery is one in a trillion.

But it can't be both.

It can because what happens is if you back up away from the individual and ask not, what are the chances this would happen to Jim, but what are the chances that this would happen to someone somewhere? It's like there's a story about if you're golfing and you hit a golf ball, and it goes however many hundreds of yards. I don't play golf, so I don't know how far they go, but it lands on a blade of grass, and that blade of grass says, why me? Why would this golf ball crush me like this? Which is a valid point. I would feel that, too. But that ball was going to land on some plate of grass. The why me is still a true thing. It is a true experience in which-There is still this difference, I think, The ball can't point to anything greater. No, the argument that lurks behind this is that these things happen, and it is just chance.

This is the random view. How do you guys feel about that? That you were randomly there and you were randomly chosen isn't the word. The ball of mercy landed on you.

But I'm also not coming at it from just that angle. I wonder if it was just the bone marrow transplant, if it would be... People get that all the time. I I think perhaps the other bits and pieces of the puzzle maybe help shadow it in a little bit for me. And so I don't know. To me, it's a multi-layered cake.

I thought you really don't like this idea. So in this science version, there is no design and there is no first cause except the first random event that sets the thing in motion.

Right.

Could either of you live with that version of what just What's going to happen to you?

Yeah, well, that's perfect because it's exactly what you talk about in your show with all the different cards.

Janel is referring to a thing in Jim's show where he talks about how unlikely any particular order of cards in a deck is.

An idea of a particular set of cards being dealt in a particular way is 52 factorial.

Which is pretty much impossible.

It is impossible. I mean, it's an impossible number. Statistically. Statistically, right. But yet you deal the cards, and they happen, right there. So this really gets into just the different viewpoints on the proverbial deck of cards and who is dealing them. Is it in a particular fashion? And I think that's what Jim believes is that there is a proverbial dealer, and I don't, I guess.

And you agree that that's pretty much the difference? Yeah.

Having given thought to that, I I believe that there was some mind, personality, somebody behind all that.

The I believe part is where you stand. It is faith.

Yeah, absolutely. It is. It's faith.

Janel, You're his savior, I guess, and you saved his life. But in some way, you haven't... Do you worry about this at all?

Yeah, absolutely. Even right now on this on stage, there's a part of me that in front of all of you, that I'm sure a lot of you were at the show last night, there's a part of me that is afraid of disappointing that I don't share what you believe to be true. I mean, your entire experience pretty much points the arrow that I'm like an alliteration of Jesus in your story. That's really difficult to reconcile as someone who doesn't have faith. It makes me sad sometimes because I think it would be a lot easier if I just believed exactly what you believed. And I think that I always am very afraid of letting that be known. I'm super clammy right now just saying it in front of this many people. I just feel like people would see your story, and it's so tremendously compelling. It's unbelievable. And then see that that last piece of this little puzzle literally doesn't fit at all.

I mean, it's not like I haven't thought about that either and how you might feel. I empathize, and I don't know how to answer that. I just want to give you a hug. There's an unconditionality to how I feel about you that I just... You can do no wrong in my eyes.

Here's the for you, the hardest thing. I was just trying to think about how difficult this must be. You have been saved. Your life has been saved by her. She is in effect your savior. And yet your belief is that unless she accepts Jesus, that in some sense she's outside of grace. I don't know I don't know what you believe about hell in heaven, but that she might be punished. So what do you do about this weird contradiction? She's insisting, No, not for me. And you're insisting, Oh, no, this is the way it is. And oh, my gosh, is it hard for you?

No, not at all. I'll tell you why. Because it's not my place to do that. I'm very sorry to everyone who listens to this, whoever feels like they got judged by a Christian, because it's never their place to do that. And this is where I think most of the times, and everybody listens to this podcast is placed, is positioned or pigeonholved Christians. And what they don't understand is that I'm not commanded to do anything but to love and to start conversations, right? I'm not the one who is sent into the world to judge. Putting it like that, I know where you want to go with this.

No, it's just actually an honest question. You have to love the judge that may not love the woman who saved your life. That's hard, I think.

Yeah, but at the same time, that's not my place.

I had to say, I think we were expecting that maybe there would be a sharper edge to the differences between Jim and Janel. But to be honest, their conversation that night and their story started to feel like almost an allegory for how to move through the world and hold your differences but still be one.

Let me just finish this way. Do you have a sense between the two of you? Because obviously, you stay very good friends. I mean, that's obvious. Is there Is there something that either of you can say that explains why you can dignifiably but emphatically disagree and still stay in such extraordinary close touch?

I think the idea of humility, and as Jim might even say, grace, is absolutely essential, no matter your tenets of belief. That's really what's going to get through conflict.

Is it because you're in this big ocean of the world and the two of you are just little dots in it? And so whatever you think is still you're in the big ocean and there you are together? Is that there?

I think maybe, yeah.

Yeah. And...

Do you have an air bigness thing? Do you feel small?

Do I feel small? Yeah. I feel tiny. Humility at its root word. The root is hummus, which means dirt. So when you become humble, you become dirt.

That's better than the sea analogy, I think.

I could keep going. I could keep going. What God does with dirt as he creates things, but I won't go there. But you become dirt. And I think where we get hung up is that we want to be right. That hasn't been brought into the this yet. We want to be right. Right and wrong are... The words right and wrong are dead. I think in relationship are deadly words. I think that saying, I'm right, you're wrong, is not good for relationships. I think it's like, let's find where we are.

Have you ever said you are right or you're wrong to her? No.

I haven't said it to him either, I don't think.

Never. That's a nice place to land.

I think so.

I think we're done. Now, that doesn't mean we're done, done. That means that I'm going to let these two people introduce the person who brought them together, rewere from the organization.

At the end of the show, we had the bone marrow registry people there and encouraged people to sign up, and quite a few did, I think maybe 20 or so. But that was pretty much nothing compared to what Jim got at the end of his show.

It's 150 people. Wait, say that again. It's 150 people signing up right now. Did you count them?

That's our producer, Annie McEwen.

It's at least that. Is this bigger than normal or is it always like this? This is a little bigger than normal. I think anytime that I'm actually in the show, it's a little bit better. So I've been told. And what is it?

How are you feeling when you watch this?

It's really overwhelming. Yeah, it makes me want to cry.

Yeah.

I mean, without you, this wouldn't happen. It's almost too big to think of.

Well, thank you, Sauron.

Sure. No problem. This piece was reported by Latif Nasser, produced by Annie McKewen, with help from Bethel Hopte and Alex Overington.

Special thanks to Julie Schmidt with Be The Match.

And by the way, they are one of the several bone marrow registries. This is the one that Jim and Janel were connected through. It is called Be The Match. If you want to donate, all you have to do is go to join. Bethematch. Org. That's capital B, capital T, capital M, one word, and you'll get a spit swab thing in the mail, and maybe you can save a life. It's free if you are under 45. Again, that's join. Bethematch. Org.

Also, thanks to Ginger Galvin, Bryce Harnie, and Steu Trieu with The Maze. And to Mark Springer, Kevin Sharp, Jim gray, Kelly Larson, and the rest of the wonderful faculty and staff at Saint Cloud State University in Minnesota.

All right.

I'm Jad Abumrad.

I'm Robert Krolwich.

Thanks for listening.

Hey, I'm Lemon, and I'm from Richmond, Indiana, and here are the staff credits.

Radiolab was created by Jad Abamrad and is edited by Soren Wheeler.

Lulu Miller and Latsif Nasser are our co-hosts.

Dylan Keef is our Director of Our staff includes Simon Adler, Jeremy Bloom, Bekka Pressler, W.

Harry Fortuna, David Gable, Maria Paz Gutierrez, Sindhu Nianan Sambandan, Matt Kielte, Rebecca Lacks, Annie McEwen, Alex Jason, Sara Khari, Sarah Sandback, Anissa Vitsa, Erianne Wack, Pat Walters, and Molly Webster. Our fact checkers are Diane Kelly, Emily Krieger, and Natalie Middleton.

Hi, my name is Teresa. I'm calling from Colchester in Essex, UK. Leadership support for Radiolab Science Programming is provided by the Gordon and Betty Moore Foundation, Science Sandbox, the Saiman Foundation Initiative, and the John Templeton Foundation. Foundational support for Radiolab was provided by the Alfred P. Sloan Foundation.