Transcript of Uncovering Hidden Money Triggers: Bob Wheeler's Financial Insights

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another exciting episode of Make Un Plug. And today's guest is a financial powerhouse, blending heart and humor with numbers. Founder of the Money Nerve, he is on a mission to reshape how we think, feel, and act about money. Please welcome the empathetic, the insightful, the transformative, my guy, Mr. Bob Wheeler. Bob, how are you doing today, brother?

I'm doing so great. I so appreciate you having me.

I am honored to have you here. We were just talking offline. You're out in LA and seeing all the tragedies and devastation that's going on out there. Just glad that you could take some time because I know it's pressing and weighing on the hearts of all the folks that are out in the Los Angeles and Southern California area, man.

Well, I appreciate that. It's been crazy, but LA has really come together, and we will rebuild.

There we go. Bob, man, out of the gate, and I had to write this down so I didn't forget, man. The money nerve. Where did that come from? What was the money nerve? What was Bob going through? What was it like, I'm already helping people with this. I needed to put it pen to paper and make has happened?

Yeah, absolutely. Well, so I started a tax practice. I have about a thousand clients. And what I realized was a lot of my tax meetings turned into therapy sessions. And people were breaking down, crying, telling me, You're going to be so ashamed of me. And I realized it's a common denominator, right? Money, fear, belief system, stories, and things we learned as kids. And I was also doing my own work on myself through core energetics and radical aliveness, which is a body-based somatic therapy, really like, where do we hold stuff? For me, the money nerve came out of… When you win the lottery, you're like, and you feel that excitement. If your check bounced, you're like, your credit card is declined, and you really feel it. It hits a nerve. To me, money nerve was the embodiment of how we hold our finances within ourselves. A lot of people are surprised that I tie money to emotions. They're like, two plus two is four. But how do you feel about that? Really getting into the meat and potatoes about what's the underlying drive or decision making that's going on when we're dealing with our finances. I don't deserve, other people deserve it better.

I'm ashamed, I'm scared. And really starting to just welcome all that in without shame, without judgment, saying, Oh, that's so interesting. I really get shut down when I have to start talking about money.

You're so right. I'm sitting here thinking about it from my perspective, and I don't think it matters how much money you have or don't have. It's one of those things we try not to talk about it. What's the angle? If it's not my accountant, why is someone asking, really?

Absolutely. A great example When you split the bill with a group of friends, do you pay? Do you split it evenly? I had the water, you had a salad. Let me pay for everything. I'm benevolent. We go through a whole series of internal questions when it's time to split the bill.

You're so right, Bob. You're so right. One of the questions I wanted to ask, talking about the money nerve, right? Because you talk about triggers behind our financial decisions. That's exactly where you're going. What are some of those common triggers that That you're seeing dealing with not just your thousand clients, but people that are coming to you for everyday advice as well.

Yeah. So one of the biggest things, imposter syndrome. I don't deserve this. If people knew the truth about me, negating our experience, negating our education. I just got really lucky. It shouldn't be happening to me. There's a lot of shame around our past financial choices. I should have known better if people knew the truth. I was working with a couple the other day, and he's like, You must think I'm so stupid because I was asking questions. I don't know the answers. There's this embarrassment that we all should have learned everything when, in fact, most of us weren't taught by the schools, by our parents. It wasn't modeled that it's okay to talk about money, and it's okay to set boundaries as to when and where you want to talk about money.

That's amazing, Again, the little things that are big things that I've learned following you and listening to you just are those. I've always wanted to ask you this question because I'm a believer that those who have done can teach better. So did Bob ever go through some type of setback and you were like, Okay, what's the emotion behind the decisions that I'm making? Because Bob appears to be the everyday man, right? You go through the same things that we all go through. I just love to know, did you go through something, Oh, absolutely.

Absolutely. That's the thing. Yeah, I remember when I just was getting ready to sit for the CPA exam, I was staying with a friend. We went out to dinner. I wanted to appreciate him. I used the credit card to pay for dinner declined, second credit card declined, third credit card declined. I'm like, Let me write you a check. He's like, Let me cover dinner. I'm like, No, let me write you a check. Bounce the check. I was just financially so tight thinking, Oh, it'll just work out, but I'm not going to plan for it. I didn't have a lot of financial literacy education. I'm not blaming anybody right here. It's just that's the reality. Yes, I've had a couple of homes a few times. Every time I go through it, I'm like, They're going to deny me. I go through all these crazy... Even though I've got the credit, I've got more than enough down payment, I've done all the right things. They're going to personally take me I go through the same drama and trauma that a lot of other people go through.

Absolutely. The servant heart that you have, the educating mindset that you have, I want to know, what was Bob's or what is Bob's because? What's that reason? What's the thing that's deeper than your why? What makes Bob not only want to do this, but do this affectionately and do this with a servant heart, a heart of Gratitude.

For me, money is just a doorway, right? To relationships, to beliefs about our parents, to the way we parent, to the way we... Whatever we do. For me, money is one of those doorways where we think it's just about money, but it's really about a whole lot of other stuff. For me, for a very long period in my life, people used to say, when I started doing the You look like you're trapped in a box. I didn't have a voice. I was afraid to have my voice. I wanted to have a voice. I wanted to have impact. I wanted to let people know they mattered. I wanted to know that I mattered. But I was paralyzed. There's flight and there's fright and flight. There's also freezes in the middle. And I was frozen most of the time. My life was fear-based. Everything that was going to happen was going to kill me. And I literally thought this will kill me. And as I started doing my own work and realizing how many other people out there couldn't find their voice, didn't feel they were entitled to have their voice, didn't know how to get there.

For me, money was one of those pieces that if I can start to have a healthier relationship with my money, not be a multibillionaire, but to just be comfortable within my means and starting to appreciate, then I could start to actually show up fully and authentically and say, This is me. This is how I show up. You don't have to love it, but I'm not going to apologize for it. As long as I'm coming out of kindness and service, this is me. This is how I'm going to show up, and I'm going to have my voice. Even if it's shaking, and even if I don't know all the answers, I'm still going to show up because that's what I'm here to do, and that's what we're all here to do.

I love that wholeheartedly. And now I want to get into some tips, Bob. Again, huge follow of yours. Bob does a lot for free. I'm not saying Bob's work is for free, but you provide a ton of just free resources out there for everyone. I definitely, at the end, want to give you time for that. But I want to talk to two different people today. I want to talk to the business owner first. If I'm a business owner or a CFO at a business, what are some things that I need to be looking at from a financial literacy standpoint? Let's say that we're a small business, right? What are some things I need to looking at, Bob?

Well, one of the interesting things that I found is many people just go out and start a business. I'm going to start doing this thing, but they haven't checked in with anybody, and it may not have been their field. If you're jumping into something, I want to open a coffee house and you've never worked in the coffee business, get some people around you that have. I was at this entrepreneur pitch down in Orange County, and I was just talking to all these different entrepreneurs. One of the guys, he's like, I've been an engineer for 30 years. I know this inside and out. When I moved into it, it was a no-brainer. It wasn't beyond his reach because it was his industry. Make sure, if you don't know the industry, that you've got people around you that can give you good solid advice. I think the other piece in business, when you're starting your own business, learning how to pivot, learning that, no, I got to go all the way. Yes, you want to show give it all your energy. But sometimes, if the building's on fire, you need to turn left and go in a different direction.

I think so many entrepreneurs feel like, Well, I've put so much money in and so much time in. I've got these sunk costs. I can't let it go. Being able to just emotionally detach and say, Yeah, that's not working. Let me move a couple inches over this way or this way.

If there's one thing that I I learned from one of my mentors, Dame and John, it literally is just that. Sometimes we feel like business preservation is what we have to do every time. If you're digging yourself into a hole, instead of trying to tunnel your way out, maybe just come out of the hole and say, Wait, this isn't the right place to be. I can change this aspect of what I'm doing and do it this way. But I don't know if it's ego for some people or just the comfort of always digging tunnels that we never see ourselves out and we never take that 30,000-foot view that sometimes we need to that's like, Oh, well, I've been going this route. There actually is this other route over here. Does it mean I might need to learn something different or have new technology or have new systems or have new processes? Possibly. But what I'm doing isn't working. Instead of continuing to do something that's not working, let's take that look. I love that, Bob.

Yeah. For a couple of examples, I had a client who had started his own business, it was failing. He was given an opportunity to take a job with six figures, good six figures. I said, Man, if you take this job, you'll get vacations, you'll be able to pay off your debt, and you'll have control of your life. He said, I can't do that. My parents will be so ashamed of me if I don't make this business go. He ultimately lost the business, and it was really about his parents' approval, which in the end, I'm sure they would have said, Preserve yourself. Take care of yourself. I think we sometimes, whether it's shame or embarrassment or what will people say. I had another client started this whole business, education, got to it and said, This is too much work. I'm stopping. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm stopping. Then they just took a couple of years off and then relaunched in a different direction that served them much better and was a lot more authentic for them and a whole lot less stress.

Wholeheartedly. And now for that second person, Bob, I want to talk to the individual now. And I get these questions quite a bit, but Bob's the expert, so Mick doesn't have to answer these questions anymore. We're going to get it straight from Bob. So I'm a person. Financial literacy isn't something that I know. But like Bob is saying, when I apply for something, I have confidence before I press send. And the moment I press in, it's like, Oh, my God, nothing's going to happen. It's not going to work. For that person, that no financial literacy foundation, what are some things that we can do just with the basics of just understanding finances and how money is working?

Well, the first thing that I... There's a couple of things that I do before even jumping that. The first thing I do is sit down because I know I'm getting ready to do some thinking about how I want to move forward, and then I take a deep breath and just go, Let me arrive with myself for a minute. Then for me, and for some people this will sound crazy, but I got to tell you, it's so important, is just start journaling. What do I want? Do I need to learn more? Do I need more education? Do I need an expert? Do I want to have retirement? What do I want? How do I want to show up financially? Because if I don't know that, I don't know, do I need to get more classes? Do I need to find an expert? Do I need to find an accountability buddy that we can go through our numbers together? Do I need to create a budget? For me, taking a breath and just getting to know myself for a minute and stopping all the distractions that are coming at me and just, What does Bob mean in this moment?

What do I feel is not working or what could be better? What would I like to change? All right, okay, great. I I probably need an expert for that. I might need to get some counseling. I might need to go to a credit bureau and have some conversations because there's a lot of great resources out there. For me, that's where we start. The other thing that I really recommend to people, and this works in so many different situations, including diet, lifestyle, everything else. What, why, why, what? What, why, why, what? What do I want? Why do I want it? Why don't I have it? What am I willing to do to invite that into my life? Because if I want a fancy car and the reason I want it is because it's shallow and it's flashy, I'm not going to judge that because that's the truth. If I know that that's the reason I want to look cool, great. There was a guy I knew that he wanted to look really cool, have fancy cars. He used to go out and find half a million dollar cars for $100,000. He would look for the deals because that was important to him.

I'm not making a judgment here about what should or shouldn't be important to you. It's important to say, why do I want it and why don't I have it? Now, What am I willing to do? For some people, it's give up their integrity. I'm not willing to do that. But am I willing to work harder? Am I willing to change my mindset? Am I willing to ask for help? Am I willing to say, I don't know?

Wow.

That to me is a magic recipe for whether it's weight loss, whether it's medical situation. Why am I not taking care of myself? What do I really want?

The great philosopher Bob Wheeler I felt like you were talking to me for a moment there, Bob. I felt like you were talking specifically to me. I love that. I really do. I want to go a little bit further, too. We talked about some tips. What are some red flags or what are some traps that people can avoid? What are some common traps that you're seeing that's like, Hey, if you want to make sure that you're not going down the wrong path, make sure you look out for this. What are some things that people can do, or what are some traps that are out there?

Well, one of the traps is, I'll deal with it next week. I'll deal with it later. For me, even if it's uncomfortable, spend five minutes looking at your bank account. Now, if it's really traumatic for you, have some fun with I love humor, right? So open up that bank account online and go, Hey, money, are you working for me today? Bring your friends in. Get your big friends. Get the Ben Franklin's coming in, right? Start talking to your money because you're in a relationship with your money. So have some fun. But don't spend a lot of time initially. If you're in a relationship, if you have a partner, you live with your parents, set up a money date and just agree to talk about money for 10 minutes initially, 15 minutes just to get it. Oh, this didn't kill me. This isn't so bad. Those are the first couple of things. Just dip your toes in. Look at the statement. I think a real big piece of advice that's really super helpful, pull out your credit card statements and your bank statements and go through and look for charges to see what you're charging on a monthly basis that you don't even use.

And your phone bill.

Bob, that last year, I found out, and I feel like I have a handle on things, but I found that I had $500 a month of things I was paying for that I either thought I canceled, didn't know I really had something that I signed up for 10 years ago. Ten years ago is an exaggeration, but three or four years ago that I forgot that I was paying for. And that was just me. If people do what Bob just said, I promise you you're going to find a car payment that you had somewhere that you could actually pay for through other things that you had. You're going to have $300 or $400 that you're spending that now it's like, Oh, I do have money extra for my car payment, or we can go out to dinner once a month now because I've been paying for this. Like, Bob, that right there, I personally took that advice from you.

Listen, it's so crazy. I looked at my phone bill and I was paying for a free iPad. They told me it was free, and I didn't look at my bill because it's the phone bill. Then I started looking, I'm like, Why do I have six phone lines on my phone bill? I had something tied to my car. It was crazy. That's for me, too. Double checking, wait, is everything going on? The other thing is, don't let it sit. Looking at the bank statements, especially if you have a business beside a client, she checks her books every six months. There had been fraud, about $30,000 was taken out of her bank account. But because she waited five, six months after the fact, the bank's like, If you had said something within the first 60 days, we would have gotten you all that money back. But you waited a half a year.

Yeah, that's crazy. Totally crazy. So another thing going down almost that same path, especially for businesses, I checking your monthly statements is extremely critical. But let's talk about, Bob, how important is credit to both businesses and for the individual? I've learned so much again from you just on not just credit availability, but understanding the importance of credit. So I teased it, but how important is credit, Bob?

Look, credit is part of the system. You don't have to like the system. One of the reasons it's good to know the rules is so you can play the system. But credit's part of the system. If you want to be able to get a house, unless you've got cash, which most people don't, if you want to be able to get a car, we're talking the difference of paying 5 % or 9% potentially on a car or some item or on your house. Now, I would say personally that personal credit is a little more important than business credit. Because a lot of businesses, you personally have guarantee it anyway. They're going to come and look at your personal credit. I used to work for a company that's incredibly, it went public and it's big now. But back in the day, they had 12 vans, and the owner had to sign personally guaranteed for every one of them, even though they were making $10 million a year. And so I would say focus on your personal credit because that is the most important. Now, if you can avoid signing personal guarantees, I would also say avoid signing personal No guarantees because you're personally guaranteeing it.

But credit, it is important to maintain it. Is it the end of the world? If you don't have great credit, it's not. But your money is going to go a little further when you've got that credit, when you're maintaining that, because it's silly. You have to have money and good credit to be able to get more debt, right? Totally agree. Because they want to know that you're responsible with it.

Yep, totally agree. I have written down here because Because, again, following Bob, being a huge fan, I also feel like Bob is a part-time comedian, right? So how important or what role does humor play into the work that you do, Bob?

Well, it plays a big part because most of us are real defensive when somebody's asking us questions about our money and about our choices. So for me, when I can tell a funny story and the client sitting across me goes, You're talking about me. Was I? No, I was talking about this. They're like, Ha, ha, ha. But it lets our guard down. I also think we got to be able to laugh at ourselves. We can't take life so serious. Yeah, that was really dumb of me. What was I thinking? I wouldn't do it again. We got to be able to laugh at it instead of like, That's who I am for the rest of my life. It's defined me. One incident from 20 years ago never gets to... No, we're not going to get marked with the scarlet letter. We get to move on from it. And so you got to be able to laugh. And I just find it's a way to disarm and get people to really not take everything so serious.

Yes, sir. What all does Bob Wheeler have going on? Now, let's talk about Bob. Let's talk about businesses you have, where you're at on social, what new is upcoming. This is like the Bob Wheeler moment on Make 'Em. All right.

My bread and butter has always been accounting. Ironically, I went to school to be a lawyer. I was just taking accounting to help my grade point because it was an easy class. Never thought I was going to be an accountant. Then I became an accountant and thought, Well, I'm just going to do this until I can figure out what business to start, and not realizing that I had already started my business. That's my bread and butter. I'm the CFO and COO of the Comedy Store in Los Angeles and in La Hoya. I get to work with a lot of amazing people. That, again, was I was doing comedy, and Mitzy Shore called me up and she's like, You got to help us out. I'm like, No, thank you. Twenty-seven years later, here I am. That's been amazing, which also helped me to build my other businesses because they didn't have money at the time when I jumped in to help. Then last year, I launched Hero Basics, apparel brand. For me, the concept is the world needs more heroes. How are you going to show up? Really promoting kindness and paying it forward in service.

Hero Basics was the newest thing. I've written a couple of books. I'm working on a couple more. Then I do workshops when people are feeling so inclined to explore their money nerve. I do money coaching and counseling with individuals and couples.

You're workshops. I want to talk about it and promote those for sure, because, again, a huge fan of the work that you do in the heart that you have. How can people access those workshops and what can you expect in those workshops?

The best way to find out about the workshops is going to themoneynerve. Com. Not nerd, I'm a nerd, but it's themoneynerve. Com. And I've gone, I've traveled internationally, I've done stuff in other states. Sometimes people We'll reach out and say, Hey, I've got 10 people. We'd love to do a workshop, and I'm off to Portland. What we do in those, the workshops are more experiential. We touch on a whole lot of money stuff, but we actually go in and actually have experiences around it so that we can actually embody the stuff that we've been holding. It's pretty profound for people to discover that they've had a dream that they've suppressed or that they've been blaming their parents for something, or they've been punishing themselves just to not let their parents praise them. It's amazing what we uncover when we're ready to do the work feel a little uncomfortable, and then learn to stay. Because one of the things that I think in this day and age, we're not taught how to stay in uncomfortable situations. We run the minute we hear something we don't like or a word triggers us, We have to learn to stay and say, You know what?

I'm staying. I don't like this, but I'm going to work through it instead of avoid it.

Yes, sir. I love that, Bob. How often are you at the Comedy Store? The commerce?

I perform there on Monday nights in LA, I go down to La Hoya Tuesdays and Thursdays. Then I do other clubs here and there just to have my creative outlet.

All right. I am in LA first week of April.

Okay.

I'm coming to see Bob. Don't act like you don't remember me, Bob, when I get there. Remember the little people?

I remember everybody. I'm one of the little people. I'm 5'4. No, sir.

No, sir. No, sir. Bob, any last words of wisdom that you have for the listeners and viewers?

You have a right to have your voice. You have a right to have your financial security. And take the chance. Take the chance. Push through it. It's waiting for you. We We all have a right to have our voice and have the opportunity to have the life we want. So go for it. Stop hesitating.

Bob, you're amazing. I appreciate you, brother. So honored to have you on. The funny finance guy is what I call you. Just honored to be a part of your circle. For everybody, definitely don't just follow Bob, but reach out. Bob's very personal. You reach out to Bob, he's going to respond back to you, I promise you. That's just who Bob is.

Reach out. We just love helping people find the resources to have the life they want.

There it is. For all the listeners and viewers, remember, you're because is your superpower. Go unleash it.

Thank you for tuning in to Mic Unplug. Keep pushing your limits, embracing your purpose, and chasing greatness. Until next time, Unstoppable.