I have my mint tea. It's actually this thing that is for my throat. What do they call this thing, Jesse? A medicine ball? I just discovered these at Starbucks.
This is not a sponsored thing. I'm just sharing the love. It is so good if you have a raspy throat like I do. And I just wanted to jump on. There's a lot going on in the world right now, and I wanted to talk about how you can let go of things that you can't control and why right now it is more important than ever that you learn how to stop obsessing, worrying about or trying to manage or complain about things that you cannot control.
And that you learn how to redirect your energy back to yourself. And I'm going to talk about why this is important. I'm going to talk about how to do it. And we're going to unpack some of the research around why this matters so much. And one of the reasons why I wanted to talk about how you can learn to let go of the things that you just can't control is obviously because right now there's a lot of uncertainty.
Everybody that I know is on edge. This always happens in a moment of great change. It doesn't matter where you are in the world. The headlines right now are very negative. They're very extreme.
This has nothing to do with who you may have voted for or whether or not you're even in the United States or you're in a different country where there's not an election right now. It's like you can feel it, this collective angst. Everybody is feeling uncertain and on edge. And it's very important in a time like this that you understand what's in your control and you understand what's not in your control. And I'm going to explain the three reasons why it's important for you to learn how to let go of what you can't control and to focus on what you can, which is yourself.
We're going to talk about the psychological impact to you when you keep bracing and you keep focusing on things that you can't control. And right now, there's a lot going on and there's a lot that is out of your control. And so if you're feeling uncertain or you're feeling overwhelmed or you're feeling on edge, I want to validate that you're not alone. I definitely feel it, too. And I'm going to talk about some of these things, and then I'm going to give you some tools.
And that's the most Important thing. Because no matter what's happening around you, no matter where you live, no matter what your political opinions are, no matter where you are in terms of your money or your health, there are always going to be things that you can't control. And there are going to be a heck of a lot of things that you can. And so I'm going to help you today to really understand what's in your power and what's not. And I'm going to help you understand and feel empowered about why more than ever.
Focusing on what's in your control is what you need to do. Doubling down on your values. Doubling down on taking care of yourself, doubling down on understanding what your needs, your goals, your dreams are, what matters to you. And focusing on the things that make you feel whole and that make you feel like you're operating from a place of what's in your control and what you value. That is how you move through a moment like this.
Because I don't want you to ever forget who you are. In fact, it's moments like this that will remind you of what you're made of and who you are. And that's what I want to start with. And so I want to show you a quick graphic here, guys. So right now, this is everything that is currently out of your control.
Politics are out of your control. Your future in terms of what's going to happen, out of your control. The cost of living right now, out of your control. You know, I have our podcast studios in the Boston area. Do you know this is a research fact that the price of housing in and around the Boston area has increased over 70% in three years?
There are lots of team members that work for me that have been saving, that would love to be able to buy a house. They can't afford it. They can't afford it. It's out of their control. Right?
People in your life who are struggling, you got somebody that's struggling with their health or somebody that's struggling with their mental health, or somebody that's really scared right now that is out of your control. The money that you're making, how much money that you have, how far your money's going to go, the state of money depending upon what happens in the future, it's largely out of your control. Whether or not you're living in an area of the world where there's conflict or war or hatred, all these things are out of your control. And I bet you can add a bunch of things, like if you want, in the comments. Is there something that you're worried about that.
Sort of. You're realizing, wait, this is out of my control. And what I'm going to teach you, there has never been a more important time for what I have created that I call the let them theory. It's a modern application of stoicism, of detachment theory. It is going to help you to distinguish between what you can't control and what you can control, because this is what you can't control.
This little dad right here, that's you, that's me. And this is where we got to focus right now. I'm going to talk more about this. This doesn't mean putting your blinders on. It doesn't mean invalidating how you feel.
It doesn't mean that you're just throwing your hands in the air and saying, there's nothing I can do. Because the fact is, there's always something you can do through what you think, what you say and the actions that you take. But I don't want you to continue to give any more power or so much power to things that are beyond your control right now. Okay? We're going to focus on this.
And the first tool that you're going to learn is that when you start to get stressed out, when you start to get freaked out, when you start to get worried and stressed and anxious and depressed and you start to feel overwhelmed because of the things that you can't control that are outside of you, you got to say, let them. You got to say let them. You got to detach. You got to recognize that what's going to happen in the future, or what's going to happen with tariffs, or what's going to happen at your job, or what's going to happen with the housing that is entirely out of your control in this moment and worrying about it, obsessing about it, making yourself sick over it, you know what that does? Any psychologist will tell you when you focus on things that are outside of your control and you worry about it and complain about it, it just makes you stressed, it makes you more anxious, and it makes you feel more out of control.
And that's not what you want. You got to focus here. You got to focus on the second tool I'm going to teach you today, which is saying, let me. Let me double down on my values. Let me double down on my belief that I can figure this out.
Let me focus on what I care about. Let me focus on the issues I want to really make a difference on. Let me really understand that I'm responsible for myself. And there are things that I can do. And when you say, let them, you detach.
When you say let me, you recognize what's in your control. When you say let them, you give up trying to control something that is beyond your control. When you say, let me, you take control. You take control of your thoughts, of your time, of your energy. And that's how you get your power back.
Because the fact is, none of us really know what's going to happen in the next year, five years, 10 years. But I do know this. The more that you or I sit here and I obsess over, like, a situation, I think that is profoundly unfair. I think it's profoundly, insanely unfair that the cost of housing has written over 70% in three years in the greater Boston area. That's insane.
And I think the number is actually a little higher. And so I think that's unfair. But can I do something about it? No. Does worrying about it help?
No. Worrying about it, obsessing about it, complaining about it, it makes it worse. Because it makes it worse inside of you. Any psychologist will tell you, anytime you try to control something that you can't control, what does it do everybody? It just makes you feel more out of control.
It makes you feel more anxious. And so that's why you got to go. Let them. Let them. I gotta accept things as they are because resisting things as they are is creating more suffering.
Okay, it's creating more suffering. Now, why is this important? Well, it's important because I don't want you torturing yourself. I don't want you torturing yourself over things going on in your family or a health diagnosis or things going on in the world. Why I got.
You got to take your power back. You got to understand that in any situation, no matter how dark things may seem, when things seem dark, you got one job. You got to be the kind of human being that glows in the dark. You got to be the light. You got to be the person that stays focused on what matters to you.
You got to triple down on your values. You got to get, like, connected to your family and to your friends. And if you don't feel connected to your family and friends, then you get to decide, do I want to work on that or do I want to put in the work to find family and friends that make me feel more connected. And the more you focus on what's within your control, the more in control you're going to feel. I mean, right now, right now, you got to focus, laser focus on your values, on your goals, on what you're thinking about on the news and the media that you consume.
Because if you allow garbage into your mind, you're going to feel like garbage. If you continue to input and get sucked into all the garbage that is out there, then you're going to feel terrible. If you get a health diagnosis and you spend hours and hours and hours reading WebMD and all the worst case scenario, is that going to empower you to make decisions? No. What we know based on the research and if you're interested in going deeper in this topic, we released a podcast episode like two weeks ago.
It's called how to let go of what you can't control and redirect your energy. And we go into what's happening in your mind and your nervous system when you obsessively focus on what you can't control and then you start to go into fight or flight and then your amygdala turns on and now you can't think straight. And now have you noticed how many of you have noticed that you're doom scrolling more? How many of you notice that you come home and you just mindlessly watch tv? How many of you have noticed that you get up, you wake up in the morning and the first thing you feel is dread?
How many of you have noticed that your negative self talk has gotten worse and worse and worse? Well, that's because. And I can explain the science. Dr. Aditi Nurukar, who is a physician from Harvard Medical School, she ran the largest stress management clinic in like the Harvard system at Beth Israel Deaconess.
She writes extensively about the fact that when you focus on things that are beyond your control, it puts you in a state of chronic stress that hijacks your ability to think. It puts your nervous system on edge. And there's a better way to live in moments where you feel like things are spiraling out of control. You gotta say, let them. Let them.
You have to detach from the thing that you can't control right now. And then you gotta say the second part which is let me, let me focus on my values, let me focus on my goals, let me focus on my health. Let me focus on what I believe. Let me stop trying to manage what everybody else is saying and doing and thinking and let me decide how I'm going to operate right now. And for you, that might mean that what you really value is family.
And maybe you and your family see things differently. And so you get to decide, let me. Am I going to lean in and really try to connect with my family? Even though we see Things differently, or am I going to let me take some time and take care of myself and take some space. You get to decide.
It's your life. You get decide. And as I've often told you, you guys, no one's coming. And you have the power to truly make your life better. No one's coming.
And yet you don't really need to be rescued, because you can rescue yourself when you remind yourself the power is not in them. The power is in you. You're the person that you need. And so if you're feeling overwhelmed or upset or things feel out of control in your life, and again, it could be any issue you guys, like, think about it right here. These are all the things that are out of your control.
Out of your control. The election's over. Yep, done. The future. Who knows what's going to happen?
Like, we can manifest, and I believe in manifesting. And I. I'm always aligning my thoughts and actions with what I believe. And I do believe it works. You don't know what's going to happen in the job market.
You don't know what's going to happen with the conflict around you. You don't have any control over the cost of living. You don't. You don't have any control over whether or not the people that are around you that are struggling are going to do the work to heal. What can you control?
Well, you can control over here. This is where all your power is. Right here, let me. Right here. The power is in you because what you think about determines how you feel.
Where you spend your time determines what your life feels like. You have way more control. And that's why I wanted to show up now and go, Whatever you're feeling is valid. You get to choose how the feelings and the outside world impact you. And.
And that's the power. And I gotta tell you, I am so excited. There's no greater time than right now than to honor yourself and what matters to you. Than when you feel like you're in a moment where things are falling apart. And what are those moments?
Somebody breaks up with you, your world shatters. Somebody dies, your world shatters. You lose a job, your world shatters. Things in politics and in your country feel like they're just kind of spiraling. Or even if you are somebody who voted for the incoming administration, you still may feel like, well, I don't really know what's going to happen.
And it still bums me out that there's so much conflict between people right now. All these things are not within your control. This is what's within your control. How you show up. Are you a kind person?
Are you a considerate person? Are you focused on how you show up? Are you protecting your energy? Are you seeking to understand? Are you chipping away at the things that matter to you?
Like, that's why I really want you to stop looking at this. And I want you to look at the one thing that matters, and it's you. You have so much power. That's why I show up here every single day. You know, there is.
I just got a question from Abby. Why am I so paralyzed by my fear of the unknown? This is a great question. How many of you feel like this? Why am I so paralyzed by the fear of the unknown?
Right. All of this is the unknown. And whatever you're dealing with. I just wrote down a few things. Guys.
Whatever you are dealing with, stick it in this box. Like, maybe you've just lost one of your parents and now the fear of the unknown is just paralyzing you. Maybe you, like, are uncertain about the way that your company's getting restructured, the reason why you feel paralyzed. And look, I write about this extensively in the Let them theory. There has never been a better time for the let them theory, because this book is ultimately about focusing on what you can control.
And you're going to meet some of the world's leading neuroscientists. And I'm thrilled to tell you that you guys have been asking for this book to come out sooner. Well, I've pulled off a miracle with my publisher. This is now coming out sooner. It's going to be here in time for the holidays.
You can give it to everybody in your family as a holiday present. You can buy it anywhere books are sold. Yes, there's an audiobook. But most importantly, the book is about what Abby's talking about. Abby says, why am I so paralyzed by my fear of the unknown?
I want to stop my thoughts from snowballing into something out of my control. Excellent question. So how does this pertain? So, first of all, you and I have a fundamental hardwired need to feel in control of our lives. It is a survival instinct that is wired into your brain since the beginning of time.
That's why we're concerned about safety. That's why we're concerned about our environment. That's why we're concerned about what's going on around us and what other people do. It actually triggers your hardwired need to be in control so that you stay alive. So that need for control it's not going anywhere.
And it is hardwired in you. Now, part of the problem for you and me is that in seeking to feel safe and in seeking to feel in control of our lives and our work and our money and our communities and our kids and our, our parents and our significant other, we try to control the wrong things. So in our need to feel safe, we maniacally focus on trying to control things that we'll never be able to control. And what you're going to learn in the let them theory, the number one thing you can never control is what another human beings thinks, says or does. You cannot control another person.
You can't control what they think, you can't control what they say. You cannot control what they do. And whenever you try to focus on another human being and manipulating or worrying about or managing what they think, say or do, and I'm talking about adults here, okay, Anytime you do that, you try to control someone else. And a lot of you are trying to control things by worrying about it. Worrying does nothing but torture you.
Worrying is useless. Useless. The research is very clear on this. Over 80% of the things that you worry about never happen. And of the 20%, roughly of the things that actually kind of happen, the vast majority of them aren't anywhere near as horrible as you think they are.
You actually survive them. You do fine. It's not that bad. You just tortured yourself. And so your hardwired need to feel safe and in control.
That's what's causing you to worry. That's what's causing you to obsess over what the government's doing or what your boss is doing, or what your friends are doing or what your parents are going to say. And so here's what I'm going to tell you. The only way you gain control in this situation, when you're obsessed about things outside of your control, is to give control up. You got to let them.
And the thing that I love about saying let them is that unlike saying let it go, which whenever I say you just got to let it go, I feel like I'm a victim. I feel like I'm surrendering to something. I feel like somebody else won and I hate to lose. But when I say let them, something weird happens. It's almost like you go, I see you, I see what's happening.
And I recognize, because I'm very smart that this is not something I can control. So I'm just going to say let them because it's also not, it's not worth my time and energy if I can't control it. And if you really stop and think about it, why would you make yourself crazy? Why would you drain your energy and your time on things that are not in your control? There's only one thing in your control.
You. And if you're worried about what's going on at work, you better focus on how you show up. You better conserve all your energy because you need it to show up. And be a high performer. If you don't like your job because it's stressing you out, but you worry about all the time, that's stupid.
That's so stupid. Because there's a bazillion jobs out there. Why are you wasting all your time and energy allowing this one to drain you? Why are you not just going Let them. If my boss wants to micromanage me, let them.
If my colleagues want to be in a bad mood, let them. If somebody wants to take credit for my work, let them. My time and energy is not worth this petty little stuff because I'm realizing this is not the environment for me and I need my time and energy if I'm going to go find a different job. So let them. Because you know what I need to do?
I gotta find my little graph here, you guys. I need to forget about all the stuff I'm complaining about right here. I gotta let them. And then when you let them, it goes away. And now you see how much power you have.
Guys, there's a bazillion jobs. There's a bazillion ways you can make a difference. And this does not diminish that your feelings are valid or that your, your like, issues are a big deal or that you've got reason to be afraid. But let me tell you something. If you're afraid right now at work or in your family or in your relationship, why on earth would you give the power to someone else?
Why, when you focus on other people, you give them the power over your life. You need to let me. Let me remind myself that I can always choose what I think, say or do. And let me almost let me also remind you of that famous quote by Professor Margaret Mead. Don't ever doubt that a small group of concerned people can change something.
In fact, they can change the world. And in fact, if you really think about it, it's the only thing that ever has. You are not powerless, but you feel powerless when you give your power to other people. Stop doing that. That's what the let them theory has taught me.
You guys. The let them theory has taught Me, I wasted the first 54 years of my life giving my power to other people, giving my power to the stupid government, giving my power to, you know, my. My. My colleague that's in a bad mood, giving my power to other people because I thought that I was supposed to make them happier. It was my responsibility to take care of everything or take everything on that.
Those days are over. I am so clear that you are powerful. And in moments of uncertainty, when you start going, let them, you're going to realize, whoa, why do I burn through four hours a night mainlining social media looking at all these idiots who are trying to, like, you know, make me, like, what am I doing? I gotta stop giving my power away. It starts with you.
And in moments like this, don't ever forget who you are. Don't ever forget who you are. In a moment where you feel like things are out of control or you're scared or things are uncertain, and that's valid, you can go down for a while, but then you got to wake up. You got to wake up and go, let them. Let them.
Because my time and energy matters more than getting sucked into something I got no control over. This stuff has already happened. The diagnosis is here. The things have been decided. The change is coming.
The economy is what it is. But I have the power. If I protect my time and energy. Let me. I have the power to figure out how to make more money.
I have the power to create a better relationship with my adult kids. I have the power to make it through this divorce and build an amazing new chapter. Like, we are so obsessed with blaming other people and what's happening outside. And look, I get it. There's some.
There's crazy things going on in the world right now. Everything that I'm telling you does not diminish the very real and scary and uncertain things that are going on. It is true. But let me ask you, do you want to go through the next year of your life or the next month of your life or the next week feeling like you have no power? Or do you want to take your power back?
Do you want to just blindly mainline social media because you're like, cannot get out of this state of fight or flight? Or do you want to say, wait a minute, I get. I get a choice here? Because one of the things that I know, or at least I feel, is that there's a difference between being formed about your health, diagnosis, or informed about what's going on in your community and inundating yourself to the point where you're paralyzed and so you have to let them. And then you got to go, let me.
Let me take better care of myself. Let me watch my intake. Let me triple down on what I value. Let me remind myself that all the stuff that I've survived for me, 56 years that I've survived, I'm still standing. And I believe that no matter what comes, I'm still going to be standing.
And so in the amount of time that's going to pass, I get to choose whether I give my power to forces that are outside of me, is who's going to run your life. All of this. All these. All these other people, they're responsible for your life. No, they're not.
And I get it. It's uncertain, and there's a lot of things that don't feel fair. And it's true. Life isn't fair. And so then I go, what are you gonna do about it?
Because they're not going to solve it for you. You got to focus on this part. This part right here. Let me. Because that's where you take your power back, and that's where you realize you are so much more powerful than you're giving yourself credit for.
But you got to protect your time. You got to protect your energy. This book right here is a master class on that. And it is the only thing I'm giving everybody in my family. It is the only thing that I am given for the holidays.
Because the most insane thing that you could give to yourself and everybody that you love is teach people how to take their power back. Teach people how to protect their time and energy. Teach people how to stop trying to control you and. And focus on their own lives. Because the truth is, the more that you learn to let everybody else live their life, the better your life gets.
Because you can protect your time and protect your energy, and then you can get to work. And that's how anything changes. It's not by sitting around wishing things would be different. It's by sitting up and going, all right, let them. Let them do what they're going to do, because they're going to do it anyway.
And let me focus on what matters to me. Let me focus on the actions I can take. Let me focus on changing my attitude. Let me focus on getting involved in a way that it really inspires me instead of sitting back feeling like a victim. Because you're not a victim.
And I want to tell you something. I am teaching a masterclass on this concept of how giving control up helps you gain it. And I'm teaching a masterclass on December 12. And it is free for anyone who buys the let them theory book. You go to any retailer, you buy an audio book, you buy an ebook, you buy the hardcover.
This puppy is going to be in stores on Christmas Eve because I'm a last minute shopper. So in solidarity with all my last minute shoppers, let them. Right. Let us go last minute. It's going to be there in the stores.
It will be there on your doorstep if you order it in time for the holidays. Because you're going to need it this year. And one of the reasons why you're going to need it this year and everybody that you love is going to need this book is because when one human being is in a state where they're buzzing and they're reactive and you know, they're feeling out of control or paralyzed or nervous, guess what? It's contagious. So if you don't want a tense holiday, you got to learn to let them.
You got to learn to create space for other people to have their experience. And then you got to focus on the let me part. Let me decide to be the mature adult. Let me decide to stay calm and steady and grounded. Let me make decisions that make me proud of myself instead of running around trying to please everybody, which only makes you feel miserable.
So I've got this question, Eric. How will let them help me with family who have very different social and political views than me? It's a great question. We all have family members that have different social and political views. And at some point you have to decide what you value.
And I'm going to come back. Okay. And I'm going to point out something. You can't control what another person thinks. You can't control what another person believes.
And one of the things that you're going to find in this book, it's fascinating. I cover eight areas in the book where you're going to use the let them theory to first remove the biggest obstacles, which is you're going to learn how to stop allowing people to create stress in your life. You are going to. Oh, I got it. I want to just say in case we lose, IG go to letthem.com that's how you register for the masterclass on December 12th.
There is a replay. I know we're going to lose Instagram, but I want to stay on Facebook because we have a lot of questions. But thank you for being with us. On Instagram, letthem.com is where you register your receipt. We're going to kit we're going to, like, end Instagram.
Let them. Let them. Right, Let them go. Because you can't control what Mel Robbins is going to do or the tech is going to do. So we're going to just say goodbye to our friends on Instagram and I'm going to keep talking to you on LinkedIn and YouTube and Facebook.
So you're going to learn all these ways that you can use the let them theory to stop being afraid of people's opinions, to stop dealing, to manage emotionally immature adults. You're going to learn how to stop comparing yourself to everyone else, how to manage stress better. But the single biggest chapter is all about, what do you do when you wish someone would change and when you have different social and political opinions than people that you love? We all secretly wish they believe the same things as us. And I'm going to remind you that inside of this little thing, what's out of your control is somebody else's opinions and their beliefs.
You got to let them. In Section 6 of this book, I dedicate almost 80 pages to the neuroscience and the explanations of how through your behavior, you can influence someone else to change. Because ultimately your parents are there, your siblings are who they are. Trying to control or change them is only going to make you feel crazy. You have to learn to let them.
And then you come back and you go, let me. Let me decide the role that family plays. Let me decide how much or how little I want to hang out with these people. And I'm going to introduce you to a tool that is so powerful that will help you navigate relationships with people that are very difficult, that you're choosing to try to create space for. Because family matters to you.
And these are deeply, deeply, deeply personal issues. And it can be very painful to be related to somebody who's bigoted or somebody. I've got people in my family that, you know, I can respect people that have different points of view. I do not respect people that are agitators. They just like to dig, just to dig.
And they try to instigate just to indicate. To me, that's not a conversation. To me, that's about somebody trying to win versus seeking to understand. And so you're going to learn. And again, it comes down to you.
What do you actually want the role of family to be in your life? Because if you decide that you're just the kind of person that it matters to you to have family in your life, what the let them theory is going to do in section 6 of the entire book, in fact, there's a chapter in Section 6 called how to Love Difficult People. Okay? And you're going to learn the neuroscience about why pressuring or arguing or wishing or kind of trying to get other people to change, it actually backfires. It creates resistance to changing, and it creates a deadlock and an argument.
You're going to learn an entirely different approach to changing other people through your influence and through neuroscience in section six of this book. But one of the chapters is called how to Love Difficult People. Because I do think family teaches you how you love people that you sometimes hate and how you love people that you really don't like right now. And you get to choose, Eric, what role family plays in your life. And you get to choose whether or not you're going to let them.
And you're going to create this capacity in yourself. And this takes a very mature adult to hold space for somebody to have a different opinion and not get triggered emotionally by it. And the only way that there is this room for people to change their ideas and opinions is if they think it's their idea. And that's why it's so important that you learn to let them, let them be who they are. They're not going to therapy.
They probably never have. They never will. They don't want to look at their issues. But through the power of you saying let them, and the power of you learning what you're going to learn in this book, you will create the space for change to happen. Because it's very interesting, and many of you have had this experience where over time, you have seen people come to completely different conclusions about very big issues, but they had to come to those conclusions on their own.
And by creating space for someone to feel like you accept them. I didn't say agree with them, but you are accepting who they are and you're seeking to understand why. And how could they think something so dumb and. Or bigoted? Like, how do you operate like that?
Like you truly try to understand. It's only in that space that somebody stops to feel defensive and they start to actually listen. There are brain scans, and we talk about it in this book. There's this work of this neuroscientist, Dr. Tali Sherritt, from MIT and King's College London.
They've done brain spans, you guys, and this is why politics are where they are. Do you know that when somebody tells you something you don't want to hear, or somebody criticizes you, or somebody has the opposite opinion of you, or somebody tries to pressure you to think something different, did you Know that brain scans prove that the part of the brain that allows you to listen and understand turns off. Just turns off. They're not even listening. And so you're just wasting your time and energy going about it the way that you want to go about it.
But using the let them theory, you're going to lose. Use the science and stoicism and you're going to follow the laws of human behavior instead of working against it. And what you're going to find, and this is what I've found in my own life and my own family, is people change. And people change when it's their idea. And people come to very different opinions about things when they have the space to do so for themselves.
And how you show up is the single, single, single biggest influencer in that. Here's the final one, Barbara. What if you have a severe back injury that stopped you from doing anything? You've been bed bound for a year. I can't get better.
My life feels like it's over. Well, Barbara, the fact that you're watching this means your life isn't over. And that sucks that you're bed bound. Life isn't fair. That sucks that you're stuck in your bed.
And I'm going to come back to what I've been showing you guys over and over and over again. When it comes to a physical injury, you got to let them. You got to accept where you are. And then you've got to stop. Well, you've got to stop focusing on it because your power isn't what you're going to do next.
Your power is in your attitude, your power is in your actions. And look, I get for a year you feel that you can't get better. I don't believe that's true. I don't believe that's true. You need to start to focus maniacally on.
Let me, let me, let me. And the fact that you're online with me right now and you're watching this, that's absolutely unbelievable. Because you do want to get better. And the fact that you want to get better is all you need. What we got to work on is that your belief that it's possible.
See, I think that you need let me. Because you are focused on what's happened and focused on what is. And you got to detach from that. And then you got to focus on the future and you got to focus on your power to figure something out because I refuse to believe. And there's probably something on this live stream with you right now, somebody that was Bedridden for a year.
Somebody that thought that this was it, this was my life. There is no changing it. Some massive physical or mental disability and they got things to be even a little better. But you need to work on the belief that it's possible. Because when you stop believing that it's possible, it won't happen.
It won't happen. But when you open your mind up to the power of what you think, say and do and that, that's where you pour your time and energy in the hope and in the optimism that the endless power. You know, I'm going to remind you guys again, don't forget who you are, especially in a moment like we're living through right now. I think these moments remind you of what you're capable and what matters and who you truly are. Which is why now more than ever, you have to.
You have to use the let them theory. You have to. What is the choice? To drive yourself crazy? To make yourself paralyzed?
To make yourself feel more anxious and depressed and powerless? You are not powerless. Stop giving your power away to people and situations outside your control. Stop it. Stop it.
You know, they, in researching this book, I had this epiphany. Oh, wait a minute. You can't get sober until you stop drinking.
You can't take control of your life until you first stop giving all the control to other people and to situations outside yourself. Take your power back. Let them. Let them. Let them do what they're going to do.
Let them say what they're going to say. Let them believe what they're going to believe. And now focus on you. Let me. Let me double down on my values.
Let me double down on my power to make a difference. Let me remind myself over and over and over again. I got the power. Always have. Always will.
Because I can choose what I say. I can choose how I think. I can choose to manage my emotions. I can choose to triple down and work on the issues and the things that matter to me. I can choose to be more understanding.
That's what I get to choose. And when you choose that, your whole life changes. It'll be the most peaceful and powerful and empowering thing you ever experience. And for those of you that have just ordered the Let them theory book, I'm so excited for you. You will have your hands on this on Christmas Eve.
Make sure that you go to letthem.com and you just register your email address and you register the order number on your receipt, whether you bought it from Amazon or a local independent bookstore or you bought it in the United States. Or you bought it somewhere else, or you bought the audiobook. And you will get your ticket to a live masterclass where I'm digging into all of the amazing science about our need for control and how when you give control up, you actually gain it. And how our obsession with worrying about or managing or trying to make other people is making you miserable. And how you learn to let people be who they are and be responsible for their lives and let adults be adults, guess what?
Your life and your relationships get better. And when you learn that it's not your responsibility to rescue people and that rescuing people tends to make them continue to drown, you're going to learn. Wait a minute. Support looks like standing on the sidelines and letting someone struggle and letting them know that you're there, but you can't do the work for them. And you'll be there when they're ready to do the work.
But nobody changes and nobody heals until they feel like it. Nobody changes and nobody heals until they're willing to do the very hard work to do it. Which is why you can't make somebody else do it. And I'm so glad, Angela, you're in the master class. This thing's going to be amazing, you guys.
And if you're not Live with me on December 12th, if you have pre registered, it's only for people that purchase the Let Them Theory book between now and December 12th. I wanted to do something for you so that you are prepared for the holidays. I wanted to do something for you to thank you for jumping in and grabbing yourself a copy of this book. And there will be a replay, don't you worry. And this is, by the way, if you're.
If your family drives you crazy, if you wish your adult children were more motivated, if you would love to see your partner or your spouse take better care of themselves, the Let them theory is the gift that you should be giving them this year, full stop. If you're sick and tired of feeling defeated before you start, or you're chronically comparing yourself to other people or someone in your life is. I'm thinking of every young adult in my life. They need this book. There's so much we cover because there's so much that you're trying to control that's not in your control and you're giving your power away.
We're going to stop that. Everybody. I'm so ready to turn the page with you. I am so ready for you to learn how to use the Let Them theory to make 20, 25 your best year ever. Because what's happening in the world around you doesn't define you.
You define yourself. And I'm going to teach you how to focus on yourself. Your happiness, your goals, your peace, your, like, ability to do remarkable things. And you are going to be unstoppable. Alrighty.
I got a bounce. I love you guys. Thank you for jumping on. I feel better talking to you. I hope you feel a little bit better whenever you catch yourself in the next couple months getting all agitated and anxious and paralyzed.
You got to go. Let them. Let them. And you're going to immediately feel a sense of peace and relief. It's crazy how this thing works.
And then you're going to say, let me. Let me remind myself, there's always something I can do. And I'm going to focus on me because that's where my power is. And of course, in case no one else tells you, I wanted to tell you I love you. I believe in you.
I cannot wait to see you in this masterclass on December 12th. So make sure after you purchase the Let them theory book, I wish it was out right now. There's never been a more important time for the world to have this concept and for your family to have this concept and for you to have this tool in your life. Just make sure you get to letthem.com and you register for the masterclass because your book purchase is your ticket. And this is going to be amazing.
And you got this. I love you guys. I really, really do. And we're going to get through it. And you're going to get through it because you have the power.
You just got to stop giving it away. All right, bye.
Right now, so many things are out of your control – whether it's global events, elections, a health diagnosis, or news you're waiting ...