Transcript of Concert nightmare courtesy of Zach...

I'm about to put Zack on blast here. We were standing in this crowd of people. Zack leans over to me. He's like, Dude, you know the good thing about being at concerts? I'm like, What? He's like, You can fart and nobody can hear it. You're miss pooping. What do you mean ill?

You'll throw some poop around. I don't even fart and poop like that. Your spot on the bench is called your toot corner. I don't actually do it, though. I think it's funny.

I'm not even fucking around. A second passes, a girl to my right is like, It smells like farts in here. We're just gripping ass.