Transcript of Quinta Brunson

Every day should have some music in it, and we've got just what you need this lunchtime. Whether it's a pick me up or just some downtime, we're here with the tunes to make your day a little better. So get in touch. But first, let's kick things off with this one. The Louise Duffy Show, weekdays from 12 on RTE Radio One and the RTE radio app. We're listeners first.

Hi, I'm Quinta Brunson, and I I feel optimistic about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

That's nice. Well, you should feel optimistic.

Is that a threat? Why'd you say it like that?

You listen to me, Quinter. You listen to me.

I said I feel optimistic.

Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walking loose, climb the fence, books and pens. I can tell that we are going to be friends.

Hey there, it's Conan O'Brien. Another exciting episode. Conan O'Brien needs a friend. Changing things up here a little bit. Joined by Matt Gourley. How are you there, Gourals? I'm good.

I'm finishing up a pretzel.

Yeah, all right. We got our Son of Session over here. Can I just say, we've been here in the facility here, the studio, for, I don't know, what would you say, about an hour doing some other stuff. You have applied what looks like a lip gloss like 40 times.

I have to tell you guys. What's going on? I'm a chronic lip moisturizer. Yeah, what's that all about? But the thing is I got a new one, and I was like, this will be nice because it's like a tube, and then it comes off and then it tastes so good.

I keep looking it off. You're basically eating it. You're eating it. Can I see it? Can I take a look at it? Would you hand it to me?

When you say what you called it when she was putting it on.

Oh, well, she kept putting it on and I said, What is that? Say something stupid sauce because you sure are using it a lot. Give me some lip, it's called. We're just giving these people a free plug. We are. Do you mind if I put it on right now? I promise. I don't mind.

I really don't.

I have a sore that appears monthly. You knew that.

Why are you looking at your hand? Are you going to put on your hand? No, okay, on your lip. It tastes good. Also, it doesn't stay on that well. I have other stuff that just stays on.

Oh, my God, this tastes fantastic.

That's what I'm saying. I keep eating it.

This is delicious. I'm not kidding. It's delicious. Oh, my God.

Just keep it.

No, I'll give it back to you.

It's like he's just sucking on a gogurt.

This is amazing. What's in it? Oh, God. Do not ingest. Now it's 40% less asbestos. This is incredible. I see now why you keep applying it because it's very delicious. Do you ever put it on the finger and then use the finger to apply?

I don't. No, I just go straight from tube to mouth. But you're putting on a lot. Do you see what I mean?

You know why I'm putting on a lot? I don't think I've ever moisturized my lips. Not once. Have you ever seen me moisturize my lips in all the years you've known me? No. Do you moisturize your lips?

I always have a chapstick.

I never do. I don't. Eduardo. It's so glowy. It's foreign to me.

I agree. Your lips are so shiny right now.

They should be. You know what? Draw attention to the mouth. I'm so shiny.

I've got two chapsticks with me for some reason.

That's just weird, but why? I don't know if I'm doing something wrong, but Eduardo, back me up on this. I don't participate in that. Yeah, I just think, Well, we're in the world. When we evolved from the great ape, he did not moisturize his lips.

Then you don't need to use sunscreen?

Okay. That's cruel. That's going after my disability.

Oh, my God. You're putting on so much of it. Look at that.

Oh, my God.

This is disconcerting. But you know what the thing is? I laugh a lot and I smile a lot.

If you can see this on video. Don't. Don't.

Zoom in.

Help me.

Help me. Oh, my God. With your five o'clock shadow.

I'm overmoisturing God. You should loop up.

It feels good.

What does it taste like, though? What's that? What does it taste like? Try it. No, no, no. No, no, no. Come on, it's fine. No, listen. The sore I get erupts once.

Take it with your fingers.

No, no, just don't even open it.

Just try it, you coward. Put it on, Eduardo. Come on. Eduardo, I promise you. You're all talk, dude. You're all talk. Come on, Eduardo.

Put it on. Don't be a little bitch, Eduardo.

You've never kissed Konan on the mouth? Come on. No, Eduardo, I'm telling you. Where do I look?

Just lick it. No, don't lick it. It's for your lips.

Just put on your lips, but then lick your lips. It tastes really good. Lick your lips.

I mean, it has a tint.

Eduardo, lick your lips. Look at that.

What's it taste like?

I don't know.

I've never used lip bomb before.

I don't know if this is what it normally This is why Eduardo has never been hired to do an infomercial. Try this amazing new product. What do you think, Eduardo? I don't really want to try it. No, but, Eduardo, it's the amazing new lip bomb. Try it on your lips. I'll just put a tiny bit. But Eduardo, doesn't it feel good? I don't know. I didn't say it was bad. I just... I didn't say it was bad. Oh, great. You heard it from Eduardo. He didn't say it was bad. Call 1-800-5-5 25, 25, 25, and get your not so bad lip bomb. What is your problem? It's delicious. It is really good. I see that. Seriously, you keep it. Don't worry about whatever sores I may have. I don't worry.

Nobody puts it in their mouth. I don't want it after that. Why?

What are you afraid of? Be honest. I don't want your saliva is all over right now. I know, but what are you worry is on my- The visual is forever tied to that, too.

I know. Have you like, rod deep-throating my chest?

Did you say rod dogging it?

I said raw dog, and I was like, That's not the right one. Then I changed it to deep-throating, which is what you were doing with it.

I didn't deep-throated. I know what deep-throating is.

Well, you definitely fellated it.

You blew my chest.

I have never ever fellated a penis that small. That, I promise you. That's the Konin guarantee. With the lip gloss. You heard it here. Oh, God. I He's never fellated a penis that small. Let's get the hell out of here. He has children. He has a family. He lives in the world, and he'll pay for what he said. Anyway, yeah, that's good stuff. I'm glad that you let me try it. And maybe I should- I'm not. Okay, well, it got us a very disturbing visual. It did. All right, let's get this rock rolling, shall we? My guest today is...

What? I'm just looking at you.

I'm sorry, I Is it that? I'll wipe it off.

It might have a little bit of a tint. It might give a hydrating lip serum.

Permanent tint. Permanent tint. Last for a lifetime. No, it doesn't have it. All right, please. We could use a tint of talent right now. I'll take care of that. My guest is an Emmy award-winning writer and actress who created the hit ABC series, Abbott Elementary, which you can stream on Hulu. What can I say? I love her. I love that show, and I love She's beloved, and she deserves all the success that has come her way. I'm thrilled. She's here today. Quinta Brunson. Welcome. Delighted to have you on the podcast. I'm just all tingly because I am. Well, some of that's a stroke, which happens at my age.

What is your age?

What is? What is my age? That is such a rude It's '61. I'm '61 years old.

That's amazing.

That is.

That's so cool.

You didn't think men- How are you still walking?

That's why I don't like to do.

I'm just saying- No, that's so great. I love that. That's amazing that someone can live that long. Yeah.

He's mostly animatronic at this point.

You didn't see me. They carried me in and put me in the chair before you walked in.

Anyway, sorry.

No, but it's It's funny because you're super young. I remembered being your age. If I met someone who was 60 or 61, I thought, Oh, my God. I can't believe they just stood up from a sitting position.

That's not it. That's not what she meant. She meant you look good for your age. First of all, I'm not super young. It's relative compared to you, yes. Compared to people who are 20, I'm not super young. But I used to watch your show with my sister, and I was very, very young. That's when I was allowed to come sleep on her floor when I was young.

It was like the old late night show.

The old late night show. It was a big deal for me, and it was very formative for me. I don't know. When you said '61, I was thinking about my own age and just watching your show when I was younger. I think it's super tight that you're '61. Not like... That's cool. Do you know what I'm saying? No, no, no.

Guys. No.

Podcast.

We were talking How about it? Say, your show premiered today.

Today is the day that is the anniversary of my late night show starting, which is when things really kicked into high gear for me, obviously. That's wow. That was 1993. That's 31 years. 31 years ago. What the fuck?

That's crazy. I probably was about 10 when I was allowed to sleep up there. It was a big deal to go. My sisters are much older than me, so it was the biggest deal that could ever happen to me to be able to sleep upstairs with them. I was watching your show and I was like, Oh, I like this guy.

Oh, that's nice.

One day I want to hang out with her, but not until he's much older.

Well, you know what's interesting? Let me finish my thought, which is you put the comedy first, which is so important, and then put it in the name of something or in allegiance to a cause that was important to you. Sometimes people confuse the order and they say, I'm going to do this important comedy that shines a light on this thing, and they forget to put comedy first. You get it. Your show is so funny and so good Then I noticed later on, the writing is so good, the performing is so good, your cast is amazing. But I also love that we have a culture that's obsessed with wealth. So many shows are about wealth. It's about incredibly wealthy people who are also sexy and fucked up. I think watching your show was so beautifully refreshing to me because so few people… It's almost like there's a mandate out there. A show has to be about super wealthy people. Have you noticed that?

Yeah, I think that part of the reason why I was longing to see something like my show, and thank you for all your kind words, that means the world, was because wish fulfillment became the biggest thing, the biggest buy, it was the biggest sell. That goes from shows about wealthy people to shows about people who are super stylish, people being sold what they are not in order to keep them in a cycle of, I'm not good enough. I really think it's the same thing as when you see an ad for sunglasses that you can't afford. But that ad is secretly telling you, if you don't have these sunglasses, you're not good enough, so you need to get them. I felt like all the shows were starting to feel that way. With Abbott, just going to a point about what you said, I didn't really think about the good cause when I was making it. There was no part of me, in spite of how many people say it, that was like, I want to make a show that shines a light on teachers. I really did not give a fuck. It wasn't until the night that it premiered, and we premiered it in front of a group of teachers on the Walt Disney.

I was like, Holy shit, this is about teachers. What if these I didn't even think about that. To me, it was just a ripe environment for a television show, for a workplace comedy.

Well, your mom, teacher for many years. I've read an interview. We said you went there and you're visiting your mom at her elementary school, and you looked around and you said, Oh, this is a show. Now, as I said before, there are people that think they're being altruistic. I need to do a show that's about this important cause that we all need to think about and think, Well, no. Good art comes from the inspiration first. You had the inspiration out of you love comedy, you wanted to make a show, you saw this place that would make a great show. It is a great show, and it wouldn't work if you had gone at it the other way.

I don't think so either. I think it's the same side of the coin of the people who made succession. Someone looked at that world and saw a show, and they made a great show. It was the same approach to Abbott. Now, that show isn't altruistic in nature or shining light on anything, but I still think most artists and television writers should do exactly what you said. You see a good world, make a good show. If whatever happens, happens after that, and you can't really control that part of it. I would have never expected all that came from this. Everything that teachers gained from it, I just did not. A beautiful blessing on the side of just showcasing a Because the other thing is, to me, that world doesn't look bad. That's the world that I'm from. It was so funny when the show came out and they were like, These underrepresented, these poor, poor, poor children are finally... I was like, They're just regular-ass kids. They're not that poor. They're regular amount of American poor. It was like, My God, these people are so decrépid and it's beautiful. They have the spotlight. I was like, I'm just scared.

You're talking about my mom? My mom. And you. Me. Oh, my God. That you would shine a light on this horrible world.

These are people. They're so sad.

It's not the Walking Dead. No, literally.

It's funny. That's the stuff you can't do anything about. Some people interpret the art that way, and you just live with it, I guess.

You know what's fun, too, is there's so much great comedy moments that come out of, we don't have enough scissors. We need to figure out a way to get scissors. It's not coming from a place of teaching a lesson. It's coming from, this is great. This is a good comedic moment. Then you can feel whatever you're going to feel after that, which is there is something deeply screwed up about the priorities in our country. These are our schools. So something is tragically fucked up, but it's coming on the heels of finding all of this beautiful human comedy, character comedy. Totally. Not sitcom jokes, but character comedy.

Have you ever watched King of Queens? Yeah. There's an episode of that show where they're on strike from IPS, where they work, which is UPS, the main character, Doug and his friends. And ultimately, I imagine when they went in the room, they were just like, What's Doug going to do without work in Arthur's home, his father-in-law? How is Arthur going to get on Doug's nerves in this way? I'm sure that's what was in the room and on the board. But when I watched it as a young girl, it's how I learned about strikes and the effectiveness of strikes. I just know they weren't in that room like, Let's teach America a lesson. The man to do it is Kevin James. It was But I wound up like, it was my first experience watching something about the need for a strike every now and then. I like to approach comedy in that way of just the most basic comedic situation, the most basic sitcom, one, two, three. And then because of our world, though, because of being in a public school, we're not afraid to go to those places where you might learn a lesson. And it honestly just comes organically because we have really strong characters, and you have characters that are strong with real opinions and real thoughts and backgrounds.

You naturally get to this place of, Oh, shit. We'll ride ourselves into a lesson like, Oh, fuck. Damn. Okay. Barbara just dropped some knowledge that we didn't plan on her dropping. But yeah, whatever. Anyway, I really hate this.

No, no. What do you hate?

What do you hate? I don't know. She was talking, talking, talking. Is it him?

Do we need to get rid of him? No.

Am I the problem? No, I'm going to be quiet. He's so old. We should get rid of him. Let's us kids hang out.

Phase me out now.

I'm only 51.

51? Oh, God. What's it like? You're 51?

You look great.

You all look great. Hey, you did not say that to me.

I did say that.

No, you did. That's where she was headed.

That's where you were headed. You were headed that way. I was headed. You cut her off. This is bullshit. You went right to, You look great. You were doing a lot of, How long has he got? I could see it in your eyes. Which is great. I always I think great comedy performers need to have, and I'm saying this because I've never liked my eyes. I just don't like my eyes. You have the greatest... I mean, your eyes are- You really get me, Doug.

What's that? You really get me.

No, but what I'm saying is you have, and all my favorite comics through history have these eyes that can do all the work for them. You have these beautiful Thank you. Eyes, but they're also great. I know. I keep doing... I don't know why.

We know what eyes are.

I'm showing you. Where are they? You know what I'm being? It's so funny. I'm being aspirational.

Yeah, it's not racist, but I'm like, Is it offensive? I'm just trying to save you. I'm like, I don't know how this is going to be in terms of how it comes up.

I don't think this is racist.

No, it's not.

This is just me trying to have normal eyes.

It's just weird. It's just a weird thing to do. That's weird.

You know what I love?

I tell you, though.

Let's say this one thing. Conor O'Brien, not racist, but weird. Yes.

I think that's always been clear.

Yeah, I think that's always been the case. Thank you. Thank you, though. I really appreciate that.

But you must know, it's You have a very beautiful face that's also very expressive. No, I'm serious.

I just love it here.

But don't you? I agree. Jump in.

No, I definitely agree. But also, you're being a little hard on yourself because you use your eyes a lot throughout time. I think it's just a good- I do like beady, like shifty side to side.

You affect that. You have nice eyes. You have really nice eyes.

I've always loved you.

No, your eyes are gorgeous. Then also, I can't do the little the things you just did with your face. You can do a impression of what's the old man, the one who always hits your car if you're in a spark in space. Oh, yeah. What's his name? There's so much more to him than that, but that's the only story I can think of right now. Is it No, he's a real man, guys.

He smashes people's cars if you- Come on, guys.

He's the old man, and he's always angry. He's in a bunch of Westerns. He just put out a Western. It wasn't- Clint Eastwood? Clint Eastwood. You can do like a Clint Eastwood.

I love that your generation refers to Clint Eastwood as who's the angry old man. She's not wrong.

I just pretty good.

You're not wrong.

I just forgot all the rest of him real quick.

I love I love that. That is one of my favorite moments on the podcast. Who's that? Who's that old man that gets mad if you park in his spot?

I'm on the WB lot and it's my constant fear that me or someone else will park in his spot. That's what is my main relationship to him.

This is so funny because we worked on the W. B. Lot. Oh, yeah, you did. One of my writers, Deon Cole.

Yeah, love Deon Cole.

Deon Cole, we hired him as a writer, and then he became a performer on show. I adore him. We talked to him recently, and we were all remembering that he just didn't care. He would park anywhere he wanted on the lot. And he drove a white Bentley. He drove a white Bentley. Deon? Yeah, Deon. When he was a writer on my show, and I'm driving a Nissan Cresita, and he was a writer, and he would roll in in a Bentley.

That is so Chicago.

I know. Oh, my God.

That is so funny.

It's so It was funny. He would roll in and people were like, My God, Konan got a Bentley. I'm like, I don't have a Bentley. It was even parking your spot.

I certainly don't have a white fit.

It was Bruce Willis. He parked in Bruce Willis' spot.

He parked in Bruce Willis' spot.

He parked in Bruce Willis' spot. He parked in Bruce Willis' spot. You know what? They kept telling him, You He was banned from the lot, and he'm like, . Then he'd come in the next day and park in a different space, and I loved that. I thought that was fantastic. That's hilarious. What I'm saying is, you can do what you want. No one's going to get mad. Park in any spot you want.

Wait, that wasn't the focus of this. Wait, the focus was, you can do a Clint Eastwood impression. I can't. Also- Because I'm old. No, because of your eyes, because you can do that. I can't do that. But also, I think people should have either big eyes or a big head. I think when you don't have either, I don't really trust you comedically. I mean that. I love that. That's true. You have the big head. I have the biggest head. That is what you have to have one or the other. I'm serious. I feel really strongly about that as my friends. I What's your deal? Why are you here?

Why are you in comedy without his massive head? Why are you in comedy?

I'm opening my eyes wider just to get your acceptance right now.

You have a good head. You got a good head.

He's got a small head. Oh, no. Yeah, your head's small. You could fit six of your heads in my head. Oh, no. Yeah.

Well, that's no comment on my head size.

My head is a container for several of your heads.

Yeah, you're the Russian nesting doll of heads.

Every day should We have some music in it, and we've got just what you need this lunchtime. Whether it's a pick me up or just some downtime, we're here with the tunes to make your day a little better. So get in touch. But first, let's kick things off with this one. The Louise Duffy Show, weekdays from 12 on RTE Radio One and the RTE radio app. We're listeners first. You know what I can relate to about, which is you're one of five. I'm I'm one of six. Yes. I come from a big family. I've talked about this a lot, but we were shoulder to shoulder. We were all born as close together as is biologically possible. I swear to God, that formed who I am.

What part are you in?

I share the middle with my sister Kate.

What are the rest of them do?

Murderers. Some lawyers and teachers. No, actually, lawyers, teachers, and then there's one or two murderers. That's so interesting.

I've found that it's usually the youngest who winds up in entertainment or comedy. Were you the youngest? I'm the youngest. What's my other concrete proof right now? Some friends you don't know, nick Kroll. Yeah, I know nick Kroll. He's the youngest. We've talked a lot about that because he's the youngest of a bigger family. But yeah, I think being a part of a big family, 100% for For me, a lot of the comedy trickled down from my parents' POV, which was old Black and White shows, and then not just Black and White, but whatever, braided Run, shit like that. Then my sisters who were very Konan friends, Martin, living colors. They were a wide spectrum. Then my brother under them... Well, then my oldest brother, who was in prison most of my life, but when he write me, he write me. You need to watch Kings of Comedy. He would tell me what to watch. Then I had my brother closest to me who was more of the stupid Ace Ventura, all of that stuff. All of it just funneled into me.

But you know what's interesting? My biggest thing, and I think it's the same thing with musicians, is they say a good musician should have big ears, meaning they're not snobs. Yeah, they love classical music, but they also love RnB, but they'll also listen to rap, but they'll also listen to show tunes. They find there's good in everything. I always felt I got exposed to everything you're talking about, but also Saturday mornings, they would show Bugs Bunny cartoons, Warner Brothers cartoons, which that's where, I swear to God, I learned my time Totally. Because the timing is impeccable. They were all made in the 1940s and '50s, and they were beautifully, beautifully. They were made for adults. They weren't made for kids. The timing on a Roadrunner cartoon is perfect. You learn about pauses and all that stuff.

Do you guys ever revisit anything and you see, Oh, shit, that's where I got my timing from or where I got my... I don't know. But that happens to me a lot now. I'm watching old cartoons, old shows. He just passed away. Bob Newhart? Yes. I revisited Newhart because I used to watch that, the one where he had the AirBnB. Oh, my God, the BnB. It It's crazy how much Darryl and Darryl and Darryl has a lot to do. That's in a brain fold of mine. I was like, Oh, this was so formative for me, and I didn't even know it. There's something I think... Oh, the Will Farrell Jeopardy sketch. Yes.

Starting out live.

There's a specific one where I was like, damn, my whole cadence is ripped from that sketch. But it's not.

It's It's not. It's impossible. There's no such thing. There's not one... I'm going to use the word artist because I'm just going to say the word artist. You can say it. But there's not one artist in history who's come from a vacuum. There's no such thing.

Even Farrell and Newhart, they did the same thing.

No, and it's interesting. I had the honor of being friendly with Bob Newhart, and he was so wonderful to me. I could never understand how I could be in the same room with him. He'd come to my house and I'd think, That's Bob Newhart over there. It's like, Yeah, you invited him to your house. I know. It's crazy. I'm saying that out loud and he can hear me. It's weird. It's crazy. But watching him and realizing it's the oldest, it's the reactions. The reactions are the beautiful thing. There you are, growing up in this family where nobody's in show business. All this stuff is funneling into you. When do you start to think to yourself, Wait a minute. Maybe I could do this.

I needed a little bit of freedom. I just was talking about this with a friend recently. It felt like coming out, saying I wanted to go into comedy. It was. I felt like I was hiding this really, really dirty secret, and I didn't want to acknowledge it. Even when I was 10 and watching Konan, it was more than just being entertained. It was like, this is fulfilling me in a way that is deeper than what my sisters understand. That is really unique or when you're watching the same movies as other kids, but you're honed in on the specific comedy part. Everybody else was watching some of the cartoons and stuff. I remember Hercules. I didn't get that movie, but there was one funny part to me that I was like, The funny parts, though, right, guys? No, Hercules is really cool. Listen to those ladies sing. I was like, I know. Then in college, I went to art school, which let me let my freak flag fly a little bit. That's when I really got into it. There was also just a comedy renaissance while I was in high school. It was when all the Epital films were coming out.

Anchor Man had come out at that time, and that was a big deal to me, and I needed to introduce it to the rest of the school. So I became the DVD hustler that was like, Here's what you guys need to watch. Can I please have a movie Friday?

First viewing is free.

I also missed that time of DVDs because it was like a special currency, giving my DVDs to my friends and being specific about, You need to watch Anchorman, you need to watch Napoleon Dynamite. I got Juno for you. I got this for you. Then I understood that it was a taste thing and an appreciation. You're like a sommelier.

Like saying, I think you're going to like this Pinot Noir. It's from Piedmont region. I got you taken care of.

Literally. It was like a curation which led to a deeper appreciation because then I started looking at where are all these people coming from? If I'm like them, how did they all get together and get to be funny together? Because that's what I was lacking. I made my classmates laugh, but I was like, I'm not a clown, so I don't want to make you guys laugh in that way. Where do I go to hone in on what I feel, which is a very deep artistic connection to this genre? And so once I found out about Second City, that's when it was really a rap. I had a boyfriend in Chicago at the time, and I was like, I'm going to come and stay with you. I'm going to sneak and go to this place called the Second City. And he was like, He's like, Are you drugs, strip club? I was like, It's a comedy.

Don't tell me.

Tell anyone. He's like, Okay, can we have sex? Can you get here? I was like, Sure. But I need to. Seriously, he was like, that was his main goal. He was Priorities, yeah. Right. But I didn't tell my parents. I snuck on a plane. Oh, my God. They still don't know how many times I actually snuck to Chicago. They just knew I did it once.

You were not, because this is the interesting thing, your mom, because we've established an elementary school teacher, your dad.

Very religious.

Very religious. Your dad. Yeah. What does your dad do?

Oh, he managed parking lots. Okay.

You're keeping this a secret. Yeah. At what point What point do you have to say to them, I got some news for you?

I never did.

They still don't know. They're not allowed to have a television. They can't watch any award shows because you keep winning awards.

Abbott was the It was the first time my mom got it. I sent her the pilot to watch, and she was like, Oh, so you're going to do this, huh? I was like, Yeah, I am. I'm going to do this. I'm not giving up. I'm not coming Going back to Philly because I'd done a couple of things, but she doesn't watch TV like that, so she didn't see. I did Black Lady Skech on HBO. I had done a couple of TV shows, like New Girl and stuff like that, but she wasn't tapped in. To her, it was still, Okay, she's out there having fun. She's going to come back here and become a teacher was her dream. Then she saw Abbott and was like, Oh, I get it. Hands off, do your thing. That was... So it was It was 27. It took me a long time to actually tell them that I was going to... I never even told them. I was just like, Look at this.

That's a major network.

Look at the thing I made.

That's not that hard.

You just write and create and star in a show. It wins every award it can possibly win.

That's what happens to everybody. Which was the importance of network TV to me because I was doing everything else in the shadows. I had written for an adult swim show, voiced an adult. That didn't mean anything to my mom and dad.

What about all the stuff you did, social media, all that, didn't click with them?

They didn't mean anything.

Because that was very industrious and very successful for you. You were able to, which is a tool that didn't use to exist. I will have younger people come up to me. When I say younger, I mean late '50s. Hey, you whipper snapper. You shouldn't be wearing long pants yet.

Sorry, my hips hurt.

No, when younger people come up to me and they say, Well, how do I break in? How do I break in? I say, There's something that you have that didn't exist in my day called the Internet, called TikTok, I mean, there's all these ways called YouTube. If this is your passion and your drive, you can start making it. And yes, it's a vast ocean. But I've always maintained that if there's a If there's an orchestra, if there's a 900-piece orchestra playing badly, but one person is playing the triangle perfectly, eventually people are going to go, Hey, that triangle.

Exactly. You still got to be tight. Which I think people forgot with the internet. I think back in the day, there were less stages, I call them to show yourself on. But there was a little bit of quality control on that because you had to be fucking tight to get on a stage It makes me miss showtime at the Apollo because you could get up there, but if you weren't tight, you were getting booed off stage.

Sandman was coming out and getting you off.

How humiliating. Could you imagine?

First of all? Yes, I can imagine. We watched it.

We watch it. But seeing a man is coming, a room full of Black people like, Yeah, I get off the stay. It's so crazy and traumatizing. I think back to it. I'm like, That's so wild. But we maybe could use a little bit of that. I'm like, I think we might need to bring Showtime at the Apollo. We need a good boo every now and then. Good punches in the face. I'm getting off topic, but it connects because I think enough people aren't being punched in the face because when you used to get punched in the face, you have to walk around with a Black eye. There was shame in that and humiliation. But then the Black eye would heal, and then you'd be okay, and you knew to not do the thing that got you, a Black eye, ever again. I just feel like there's not enough blue and or Black eyes.

There's a lot out there. It's a lot. There's a lot of content. There was a while there, just like two or three years ago during the streaming wars, where everything was getting green-lit. I would I've had this experience of driving around LA, and I just kept seeing billboards. It was like, it shows that I'd never heard of, ever. Then a quote from someone I'd never heard of. If you're not watching Mr. Bibly Boo, then you're not watching television. You're not watching shit. Then, Fuck you, says Dirk Millroy from WZBTv. Com. You're like, Wait. But you'd see hundreds of those. It makes me long for the '90s because it felt like it didn't matter who you are.

Everyone had the same cultural- Everybody knew Friends. Everybody knew Friends. Everybody knew Conan. Everybody knew Conan. Everybody knew Martin. Everybody knew In Living Color. Everyone knew SNL. Everyone knew the President. Everyone knew... Just last night, I was watching TV with my husband, and I had to tell him he didn't know who Laura Loomer was. He didn't know who... He's like, It's too many fucking people. It's too many people. It's too many different ways to be out of the loop.

I have this experience where when I get up in the morning, first thing I do is I hit my news feed or whatever. It's, of course, I always want to know what's going on in the culture show business. It's just comical because it'll be like, Rachel Crosne tells DRAX Sizzler. To get lost.

To get lost.

To get lost. I didn't know.

I love it.

It does look like that. What is that talking about? I didn't know where I was going. I admit I didn't know where I was going. No, but like, People are having beef, and I don't know what their beef is. Or who they are. Or who they are. It's things like- Or what beef is. Yeah, or what beef is.

I want you to know that's not because you're 61, that is happening to everyone. 21-year-olds who run the world don't know who other 21-year-olds are. There's just too many- That's the term I hear a lot is we're all siloed.

Yes. That everybody's, Here's what I like. It's this term that I think perfectly identifies what's happening is that humans by nature do not want to be challenged like most organisms. We don't want to be challenged. We want to be comfortable. What do we do? Now we can create an ecosystem where, okay, I like Abbott Elementary. I also really like this sketch show. I like this. I like this. I like that. I like that. Here are my political views, and I get upset when I hear this other person ranting. I'm going to create this world where that's all I hear about is the stuff that I like, and I'm gravity free, I'm constantly nourished, I'm not challenged, and I think that that has become a problem.

I think so, too. I don't know if it's bad or good, but it is where we are right now. I've felt myself veer into it because it all is so much input that I'm like, Let me just build my own little island. Yeah, But I then think as a writer and as an artist and a creator, that's not healthy. I have to take input from the rest of the world in order to make something. But it's rough out there. I'm not going to lie. I was on the website formerly known as Twitter, but I don't have an account anymore. So I was just on it as a blank user. And the shit I see, it is wild. If you do not curate your own algorithm, the shit you are seeing on there is insane. I'm just like, what the fuck? The thing that happened recently with the Trump talking about people eating cats and dogs, that had been a right-wing theory for two weeks at that point. When it came out on the debate and everyone was like, what the fuck is he talking about? I'm a great what the fuck is he talking about person, but he actually was talking about shit that has been in a zeitgeist for weeks.

Yes, it had been out there. It turns out it's not true.

I forgot to say that part. I'm sorry, Sona.

No, I forgot to say no.

But Trump said it.

I I'm confused. He was protecting my dog.

I was really scared from- Sona said what as she was biting into a cat. What?

I get it because my parents are immigrants.

Yes. I think it's really funny.

According to Trump, yes. But yeah, no. But that was an example of it where I was like, Guys, he's crazy, but he's not being crazy right now. He didn't just say that. This has been going on for two weeks.

Well, he's in his silo. Exactly. He's in his silo. He's in his silo.

Unfortunately, it's a nuclear silo.

But I mean, we all have to be careful because it can happen. Again, I always try to find the commonality. There are people that can be in the Harris silo where- Totally. Oh, my God. They can watch her do spectacularly well in a debate and say, Well, the election is over. She's going to win. You're like, No, see the whole thing. You got to see the whole picture. You've got to see the whole thing, and you've Unfortunately, being uncomfortable is a part of being creative, but it's also a part of being human. We have to be uncomfortable. So many negative things in our society come from, I don't want to feel uncomfortable, so I'm going to self-medicate. I'm going to have this wine. I'm going to take these pills. Jesus, these are things I do.

I was about to say two out of three for me. But I leave room. I've been leaving a lot of room to feel lately. Yeah, you have to feel things. Really important. I've been drinking less because I want to leave room to feel. I think especially when you enter in a new era of your life, which I feel like I'm in, I got to feel it. I have to actually- Let's talk about that for a second because I'm- Oh, let's not.

No, I want to ask you a very specific question, which is, you, for a good part of your very young life, were in the experience of aspiring, I'm going to try this, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that, I'm going to make this. You're pushing, you're pushing, you're trying, you're pushing. Now you're the boss. Now, what's that like?

That's just easy, Connie. Easy. Do you like it?

It comes naturally.

I've been just dealing with that a a lot recently because Abbott is a toddler now is the way I look at it, where it's four years old and the baby's okay. It knows how to walk, it knows how to make its own food, still have to help it sometimes, but it knows where things are. Can't use a sharp knife, but I can come cut the sandwich for it. That's really how I look at Abbott, fully functioning toddler. Now, it's just funny you ask that because I very recently have been... Mind you, we've gone through the pandemic, the strikes. It was a couple of things that happened that I wasn't keeping up with where I was. Then Abbott, fortunately, had tremendous success after his first season. While we were filming our season 2, we were the awards shows and blah, blah, blah. But Abbott is work for me. I'm there. I'm only not there now because we're on hiatus for a week, which is something we built in so that I can breathe. But I'm in that writer's room. It's not just like it is my baby, and I'll never make anything like it again because nothing can ever be this much my baby again.

Then I just started dealing with when I I talk to friends of mine who are moms and their kids are toddlers, it's like, Oh, shit, the infant's growing. You look at the mirror, what the hell happened to me? What the fuck? Because I am now in charge of a lot of people that I love and I love working with. But to go from broke artist before Abbott to very much not that is like, what happened? I cut my hair off because I was like, I got to feel myself again. I have to find a world for the version of me to exist from before Abbott and with who I am now and try to blend them together so that I can hopefully make something new after Abbott. But so I'm just trying to find… That's what I meant about entering a new era. I got to feel everything out so I can figure out which parts of me to bring back and which ones are just gone. I think you're going to find…

This is me taking an educated guess, but I think you're going to find that you don't have to go off and think of something in a whole cloth out of a complete nothingness in a vacuum. You've started something, so something's happening now, and you've put yourself out there. The pot is starting to come to a boil. Other things now you're going to find you run into things. Do you know what I mean?

I want to be open so that the energy can... So that the things can come.

It's going to happen.

Yeah. I mean, it's happening. I feel good. I'm not like... I feel good.

No, you don't. Yes, I do. I think you're in a terrible place. I think you're very depressed. This is an intervention. This It was an intervention. You know what? We're not even... This isn't even going out on the air.

When you asked me that question just now, I was like, did my therapist send you?

No, no. Come on in. I know. Come in.

I haven't talked to her in a year. She's going to be like, This is how I have to get you.

I'll trap you.

God damn it.

You're like, Yeah, you're $250 an hour. So that's not happening.

Yeah. No, I think that's true. I like that you're doing this. This has been a very fulfilling conversation for me, so that's good that you are doing this thing.

Well, I'll tell you this. One of the things that I mentioned before we even went on the air is what I love now is the opportunity. My wife asked me today, What are you up to? You do something today? I said, Yeah, I'm headed in. She said, Who are you going to- So angry. Will you just do one thing? That's my wife. No, she said, What's up today? I said, I'm going in. She said, Who are you talking to? I said that I was talking to you. She was like, Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm excited to come to work. I'm excited to sit down and talk to you. I'm a fan. You're doing something incredibly... First and foremost, you're doing really good work. Thank you. But you're also doing something that makes me feel better about where we are, what young people are making. It gets me thinking differently. It gets me thinking about, and I know this is something that you're very active in, okay, I give money to a bunch things. I went to public schools. Let's get on that. Yeah, I love that. I'm saying that, but I'm not going to really do it.

There's this sports car they make. No. Yeah. Guess what? It's made of rainforest wood. It's $800,000, but I must have it.

It's made of old public schools.

They take books and resources from public schools, and they make this car that runs on rainforest leaves.

You can do both. You can have that car and throw a quick little... This is the other thing. People are like, I got to donate all the money to this school. You know these schools could use a quick little $200. They are not asking for a lot. That's how down bad they are. So anyone listening, you might think that little $15 doesn't make a difference, but it does. It goes such a long way.

That's what I love that comes up in the show is so much of your show is about... Or there's so much great comedy that comes out of something that's very real. It's sad, but it's also what I love is the character on your show, the older teacher. Barbara. Yeah, Barbara. She's such... What a great character because you're always saying we need to fix everything, and she's saying, If we have to do without, these children will still... She's got this great perspective, which is, We will make this work. But I watch it and I think, Oh, like I said, they need scissors. They need a rug for the floor. They need a chair over in the corner. There's so much that I think people think, well, this problem is beyond us. But if every single person said, hey, wait a minute, I can do this. Sona, I know you're very tight with money, but you could- Oh, okay.

What are you talking about?

Sona, will you pledge right now? Yeah, sure.

I'll give- Your salary for the next year.

Oh, my salary? Yeah.

Your salary is more than I thought.

No, I got to get that car. No, no. That car, it takes existing schools and crushes them down.

You donate, so I'm going to get you the car. That's how I get it. Oh, no. What are you talking about? What's funny is you're talking about Barbara, and we were just talking about comedy and everything. But Barbara and Jeanine are very much built for me. I talked to you about 30 Rock off of Liz Lemon and Jack Donnagee. People don't make that connection, which is great. I don't need them to. But that was the blueprint for me for them because Jack Donnagee is often He was even right. It was at a time where you could get away with a deeply Republican character like that, and it wasn't violent.

He's so likable.

He was so likable. I mean, what a good job at that role. Then Liz was right, too. But I love when two characters are right. It is my favorite thing in the world. I love it. It's the best.

You're a huge 30 Rock fan. You brought it up when I saw you in the green room. We call it the green. It's not green. But anyway, when I saw you in the talent lounge.

It's very nice here, by the way.

Very nice. It's an old American Airlines lounge that we purchased. But the first thing you did was ask me a 30 Rock trivia question.

Oh, yeah. I wanted to know what your favorite 30 Rock joke about you was.

I have to say it's funny because you said it, and I'm going to get this wrong, and 30 Rock fans can correct me, but there was an episode once. I was only on the show twice. I know. I think that's hilarious. I was only on the show once. They talk about you so much. Because I'm her old boyfriend, I'm Liz's former boyfriend.

Aren't you in Greenscreen, by the way?

Then they Greenscreen me in the last one. Tina came out, she was in LA, and we Greenscreened it, which was part of the meta joke. Of course, it was all about, I still haven't lost my virginity at the time, at 50 or whatever it was. But I think my favorite joke might be, and it might have been Tim Conway who did it, but runs into Tim Conway. Is it mine?

It's my favorite joke. Wait, go ahead.

That's mine, too.

We'll say it. Do you know it?

Do we know it?

What I've heard it is- I think we're all thinking of the same thing. I did my show in 30 Rock for 16 years, and I would always walk around, and I always had a guitar on. Doesn't he say something like- I thought he said something about you being a woman. No, no. A woman named Konan.

Who is Konan and why is she so sad?

Why is she so sad? Yes. You gave the joke away as you said it. I didn't know what the joke was.

I thought you were on a different track.

A joke about a woman.

No, I think he goes I ran into a very tall lesbian in the hall. Who is Konan?

Who is Konan? Why is she so sad? It's just a wonderful fucking joke from top to bottom. It's a perfect joke. I have to say that because I love that joke so much, it got me saying... People would say to me... I started doing bits. That's for that. I started doing bits where people would say, Oh, and maybe they'll see you, and they'll go like, Yeah, and they'll wonder, who is that old a Dutch lady or whatever. People would laugh really hard, and I think, Well, I'm just using the 30 Rock joke, but I'm doing it to myself before someone else can do it to me again.

I can do it to you like me. But no, it's not a deep cut, but it's one of those ones you really have had to have had issues in your life and watch those episodes over and over and over and over again. It just really sticks out, and it starts to stick out how much they talk about you in that show, and it's hilarious. It's so funny to me.

It's so funny, too, because my son, who's now 18, but he really got into comedy and really started going down and binge watching all these great shows, and we would do it together. Then he really started to get into 30 Rock. I started rewatching. And a bunch of them were ones I hadn't seen because I was busy going through my own drama. I'm watching all of this play out, all these Konan jokes come up on 30 Rock, and my son's really laughing at my expense. I'm sitting there like, I don't know how I feel about this. It's cool. But, man. But anyway, it was a nice way to... So then I reached out to Tina, who I don't talk to all the time, but I do know how to reach out to her. And I just reached out to her and said, Tina, I have now rewatched all of 30 Rock with my son, and good God, the writing is so tight on that show, and it really holds up. It's crazy. It was nice to be able to When you have that good feeling about someone and then you realize, Wait, I can actually tell them.

That is how I want to end because having you here today and being able to tell you that what you're doing is really comedically top-notch, but also beautiful, and that it's just cool to get to sit with you and talk to you. This was an honor, so thank you.

This was an honor for me, too. A little 10-year-old, Quinta is flipping her shit right now. This is pretty crazy.

Also, if she's 10, that means I'm only 45. Exactly. You did it.

Yes.

You did it.

I did it, finally. Hey, Quinta, congratulations on everything. Always give a holler if we can be of help in any way. I don't even know what that would be. I know. Oh, yes. We can do, first of all, I know I can be of help. You can donate. I can donate once I get the car first. Okay. Well, I'm going to get two cars because I want to keep one at my- You could buy Deon's car. Here's the thing, you can park it anywhere.

That is so funny. A white Bentley as a writer is crazy.

He sat right in the chair you're in and completely fessed up to it and was laughing. Was it least?

I believe- It had to be least. I believe so. It had to be least. I think so.

Sorry, this is not- It was a convertible, too. Okay, wait.

The focus is you were going to say something nice about donating, like something that was really- Yeah, you cut me off.

You want to know… I'm sorry. I'm saying, so if you want to to schools. Here's the number. Hold on. Did Deon lease? Was it a monthly payment? Can you do that on? Anyway, God bless you. Thanks for being here. You, too. All of you. Yeah, and this was really fun.

Thanks for having me all.

Anyway, yeah, they have Porta Potty's right next to each other, and they're reading. Then after a while, I'm like, Is there poop? They're like, No, we're working on it. We're trying. Then after a while, I realized I'm like, They made a fool out of me.

It's 2:00 in the morning, yeah. They've been sitting there for hours.

Yeah, but I just thought you at your party would want to know.

I used to do that when you were my day-to-day assistant. I'd say, I have to poop, and you would put me on the toilet.

You'd be like, Come with me into the bathroom because I'm scared, and I'd sit there while you were trying to- While I read a children's book.

Then you'd be there for hours and be like, Do you have to poop? I'd be like, Yes, pretty soon. Anyway, let's find out what happened to the hungry, hungry alligator. All right, let's go.

It's a caterpillar.

Well, actually, I think we're already rolling because what I have to tell you guys is related to this. Okay, let's hear it. There's something strange going on in my neighborhood, and it's called Piss Saga. Piss Saga? Yes. I have nothing to do with this. I just want to put it out on the record.

Okay, let's paint the picture. Your neighborhood, of course, is in Pasadena? Yeah.

There is an electrical box on the side of the freeway, but it's on a surface street near that little bakery that I love that makes the- I'm sure I know it well. On top of this electrical box for the past two years, someone has been putting bottles labeled human urine on top of this electrical box. What? Yes. It's on Google Maps since 2022. I have to shout out my sister-in-law, Sarah. You guys know Sarah. She's been following the Instagram of these two guys, Derek Milton and Grant Yancera, who have been following this whole saga, and it really escalates. She told me about it, but she didn't realize it's really close to where I live. Almost every day, there are multiple bottles of urine in water bottles that say human urine on them.

Is it really urine?

Well, this is the thing.

They didn't find out.

These guys tested it, and it is. They thought maybe this was a drug drop off where people are exchanging drug urine for... But they tested the urine and it's drug free.

Wait a minute. Hold it. That makes sense Because if you want to pass a drug test, you need clean urine. Is it possibly that this is a place for people to get that?

The other thing is they go through this whole journey where they dress like construction workers and put up field cameras that are motion activated to catch this guy or person, whoever it is. They don't know initially if it was just someone who might be mentally ill or a performance artist or a bear. But then they caught this.

Oh, my God.

Look at that. That's the pisser?

That's the piss artist who's clearly doing some installation.

However- Is he wearing a stalking over his face?

It's like a bala clava. Yeah.

Does he see the camera there? Because it looks like he's hooking into the camera. He took the camera.

He stole the camera and then went and took the camera to San Diego because they could follow the GPS on it. He stole the camera.

Now, get this. That's one of the scariest photos I've seen in a long time.

Can I say it looks a little like you.

It's You know what, Sona? I see it. Yeah. This whole thing is I just want to confess.

I want this to be over.

If I was the piss guy, I would bring it up in a way of like, Oh, my God, they're trying to catch the piss guy, but I would be the piss guy.

Okay, now this is going a level deep because I actually This is...

By the way, this is, if anyone cares to do it, a little documentary.

Well, it's already happening with these two guys. They're making videos and documenting to the point where I'm starting to suspect they might be the Piss guys. But that's the beauty of it. They're really craftily making these fun videos about them going to do this stuff. Whether it's real or not, it's a beautiful piece of art.

It's Banksy with urine.

Yeah, it's Piss Banksy.

Banksy Piss. It should be Bankswe. Because it's Wee We, Bankswe. Oh, boy. Yeah, guess who just got fired? I'm sorry. Isn't that funny? How quickly someone can get fired? Come on, Bankswe. Bankswee. Bankswee? Oh, I doubled down. It has to be Bankswee-wee. Okay. Anyway, sorry. Welcome to the podcast that always raises the bar.

Bankspeep. Just go Peepee. It doesn't have to be Wee-wee.

Wow, man, you became so We were so animated when we got to the Peepee Wee-wee section. Suddenly, Sherlock Holmes is like, Let's crack on. What's interesting to me is, yes, you raise an interesting point, which is who discovers this? Two very able documentarians. Exactly. So it could be them.

But it continues to unfold. It's still as of the recording of this on September 16th, just the other day, presumably, the city who has also contracted a HAZMAT company to come pick up this urine occasionally.

That's your tax dollar at work. I know.

They built a little aluminum pyramid on top of this thing so you could not set anything on it. And then I was taking my daughter for a bike ride. I drove by it. The The aluminum thing was shattered, and there was five new bottles of piss on there.

Well, now, whoever's doing this, because I don't know if it's a crime just to leave urine around. I hope not because... Wait a minute. We all do it, but anyway. Wait a minute. No. I'm going to go all the way to Pasadena to do this? It's littering. What littering? No. It's a silent G. Rage. If you were a rapper, you'd be hard G. That is so stupid. It ends brilliant at the same time. No, I'm done. Just stupid.

But anyway.

God, he's good. Who's speaking? Real stupid. So this is interesting to me that he's now guilty of destroying city property.

If the city did that, these guys that make these videos are so funny and so good. You really should check out their Instagram because they have them laid out in parts one through six.

But guess what? Let's try and get our listeners, if anyone's interested and lives in the area. Let's get them on the case.

What if the P guy listens? Hey, stop doing it.

No, or tell us why, because they've also put interview boards, like whiteboards and questions for him saying, Why are you doing this? Is this an art installation? Whatever. And the guy won't answer. It's unfolding as we speak.

How does he get there?

Okay, so this is the crazy part. It's the 134. He must pull off on the side of the 134 and has to reach over a concrete wall and put it on there. There's a video of a coming down and placing the piss bottles like chest pieces. He's very delicately- But they had to catch that picture. They had multiple cameras and at different times. One of them got stolen. One of them didn't work.

Why just peepee? Why not poop Why not pee?

Why not poop? Hey, Sona, do me a favor. Take a little time out. Just have some apple juice. Take a time out. When you're ready to join the rest- Why is it just pee?

Why isn't it just poop? Why is it also poop? Why just pee, I wonder? Don't you wonder?

Why do you keep repeating it? You keep saying the words much more often.

Why does pee, pee, and no pooh, pooh?

Okay. You've been spending a lot of time with twin boys. We're very young, and your vocabulary has shrunk to pee, pooh, yes and no.

Okay, let's go back to the piss saga. Sorry, I apologize.

We were talking- For bringing this conversation down. Let's go back to the piss We were solely urine-focused when you took us into the- Number one is fine. Number two, that's just not respectful.

That's not cool.

That's not cool. Okay, I'm sorry. That's not cool. All right, everybody was thought and thinking about it.

Anyway, I'm interested to find out. I'm interested. I'm also thinking the time and resources that are being spent by both the assailant, we'll call him, and the people who are on his trail, and now we're getting more people involved. There are real problems in the world, but this is the human mind. We get distracted by these little strange... There's little eddies, little whirling eddies that distract us from creating a real solar grid that will make us less energy dependent and cut down our need for fossil fuels. But that will never happen because we're on the trail of PP man. I know.

Amanda sent me a post on the neighborhood social media app, which is for neighborhoods and stuff, about a woman concerned about it, saying, Here's the email of the city person. We need to all write him and them to make this stop, too. It's on the radar of the city now.

Is it close to someone's house? Is it hurting anybody?

You know what? It's very close to Meryl Streep's house.

No.

Oh, my God. That's not cool. She's probably our best, greatest actor. I mean, really, think about it. She shouldn't be anywhere near a strange urine.

What you're saying is not controversial.

I know. I just had to take the stand. You know what I'm tired of? I'm tired of people saying Meryl Streep can't act her way out of a paper bag. I'm tired of it. She is probably the greatest actress of her generation. I don't think strange bottles of urine should be anywhere in the vicinity of someone of that caliber.

Unless she is, in fact, the piss artist.

Okay, no, we're not doing that. No. That's what I thought.

That's what I thought. Near her house, no one's catching it. Not doing it. She should have cameras around her house.

Not doing it.

She's the piss artist.

No, don't like it. Not cool. I'm shutting it down. I'm shutting it down, and I'm ashamed of both of you. Okay. I rise because you two fall. Well, this has been a huge waste of time, but it's your fault because you tuned into this fucking podcast.

Yeah, question?

Where can people see these photos that you're talking about?

If people want to see these photos, and who wouldn't, let's go to the Instagram accounts of Derrick Milton and Grant Yen Syrup, spelled like the condiment.

There's no such The condiment as Yen Syrup.

Syrup. Well, his name is Grant Yen Syrup.

But what about the first? The condiment, Yen Syrup.

Oh, hello.

I'm going to feed my pants.

Hello. So give me a bottle. Guilty. Guilty. Hello, Wendy's. Wendy's drive-through person. I've got ketchup, I've got mustard, I've got mayo. There's no Yen Syrup. What's going on? All right. Peace out, Tupac.

Konan O'Brien needs a friend. With Konan O'Brien, Sonam Ofsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and nick Leal. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivina. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Sample. Calls. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brenda Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent Booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kohn. You can rate and review this show on Apple podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Konan? Call the Team Coco Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXm when you sign up at siriusxm. Com/konan. If you haven't already, please subscribe to Konan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.