Transcript of Pasha Palanker: Facing Fear, Building Strength, and Leaving a Legacy of Impact

Hey, everybody. Really excited for this very special episode with my dear friend Pasha Polanker. If you want to know the mindset that's needed post-military, post-service, this is the episode for you. Pasha is going to go through his story, the moment where he had to make a split-second decision to save combat life. You're going to want to hear that story. We're also going to talk about some misconceptions. We're going to go through the things that he's doing now. Then in the quick five, we're going to understand, where does he feel the most alive? This episode, I promise, is going to change your life. Please join me in welcoming one of my closest friends, Mr. Pasha Polanca. Pasha, how are you doing today, brother?

I'm doing great, brother. Thanks for that amazing intro. I'm honored and grateful to be here with you.

Dude, you know us. We talk all the time, but it all goes back to what, November of last year, we meet at one of the Robert Irvine Foundation's events, their year-end Beats & Eats. I think our bond became bourbon, right? Aside from Robert and the team, we were sitting there having a bourbon together, talking about life. Then I found out all the crazy, cool things that you have done, not only just in life, but what you do for others and what your life history has been. That bond will never be broken, man. One, just thank you for that moment. Thank you for the moments that you've continued to share with me, and we'll talk about some of those later. But man, just thank you for who you are, Pasha.

I appreciate it. That means a lot to me coming from you. I think that the bond was bourbon, and it's also authentic human-to-human connection with a similar passion and purpose. I think that's really what… Bourbon was an easy conversation starter.

Absolutely. Pasha, we know each But one thing I've always waited to ask you, although we've handed on it a little bit, is your because, right? That moment, those moments that keep you driven, those things that keep you doing the things that you do for others? What's your because, bro?

Well, the simple answer is my family, my wife and my four boys. That's everybody's going to come up with. But going down a deeper level, I found my because through struggling. Haven't been in very deep, dark moments all along by myself and finding way out and then being able to help guide others out of that place, I found a lot of meaning in my life, and that has become my because.

I I love that. And speaking of your family, I got to meet them in April. A very special moment was had in April at another Robert Irroup Foundation event. You received Finally, your Bronze Star of Valor. I'd never seen a room of 500 people so emotionally connected at one time. Walk us through that moment, and then we're going to talk about what you did to accomplish that star, to receive that star.

Okay. Well, that room and that award, one does not exist without the other. It took 20 years for that award upgrade to happen because I never looked for it. But as part of my... That moment where I earned that Bronze Star for Valor has been a huge part of my journey. When I go and I speak to to audiences. I share that story. People would ask me about if I received it in a work right now. Tell them. They're like, Really? That's all you got? That's what led to people asking me to look into upgrading. Then somebody started the paperwork process. There was a lot of people in that room were involved in that. I think that's why a lot of people there were connected because Either they've heard my story or they've been a part of that process. There were some amazing people in that room, to include yourself. Then the power that Robert has, the influence that he has to bring people together.

Man, I'm telling you, that moment, man. One, there wasn't a dry eye in the room, but to hear Robert and to hear Ceeze talk about you the way that they did, man, it was so heartfelt that I think the viewers and listeners need understand that journey a little bit deeper. Walk us through special ops and special missions and some of the things that you've done for our country, brother.

Well, I'll just share that moment and why I received that award. I was a gunner in my vehicle when a vehicle driven by a suicide bomber was attempting to ram into us. At a closest point, he was just two, three feet away from me. I had this moment where the only option I had was pick up my rifle, lean over the protective plates that are around me, and engage in that way. In that moment, the rational part of my brain, Oh, that's a terrible idea, because I knew what was about to happen. I was like, I should just drop down, and then if we survive, we survive. But then I felt this anger like anything I've ever experienced, like something primordial, like something shifted inside of me. That anger drove me to pick up my rifle, lean over, and engage him straight into the vehicle. I was able to hit him a few times, which He caught us just a few extra seconds. We were able to pass him. Then he was remotely detonated. That vehicle was remotely detonated by... There was another group of terrorists that recorded the whole incident on video. That was it.

That was 30 seconds. But the other part of that journey is that anger that saved my life that day. It slowly destroyed my life. Start started to destroy my life a decade later. I could not turn it off. I could not control it. While I was young and single, it was not a big deal. It was a couple of cool stories, road rage or altercations. But once I got married and I started to have kids, the kids will do kids stuff and break a glass or spill milk, and I would react like I was right back there with the suicide bomber. That was the cause of my downward spiral to where I ended up in a very dark place. We can talk about that more if you want to, but I'll stop.

You and I have had these conversations, but I do think for the viewers and listeners to understand, not necessarily the spiral, because you fight every day to overcome that. That's one of the things that I applaud you for. But I do think it's important for the viewers and listeners to understand how to recognize that in people and the support that they need, man. When you were going through it at the deepest and darkest times, what were the things that you needed that you know now that you were needing my help. Yeah.

Love. When you're in that place, when I was in that place, I'll just talk about myself. I felt like I could not be the father to my kids that I wanted to be. I could not be the husband to my wife. I was so angry. Also, I felt a ton of guilt. The anger kept me away from my family. I was at home, but I was in this room while they were out and doing family stuff. I didn't want to be around them because I was afraid of these angry outbursts. But I felt guilty that I wasn't around them. I started to feel a ton of this suffocating pressure. It felt like 245 pound plates on my chest. The only thing that would relieve that pressure is numbing that pain through alcohol or through some some other distracting things. Every day, my life got just a little bit worse. Then on top of that, I was told that I have to medically retire out of the army, so I was losing my identity as a soldier. That put more weight on me. I was slowly being crushed by that weight and by the world. Eventually, my mind started to go numb, and I just stopped caring about consequences.

I arrived at a place where suicide was just logical. I felt like they're better off without me. I'll find peace and relief. And that's a place that a lot of us don't come out of. But that One thing that would make me or anybody else feel better is a hand on the shoulder, a hug, some words of love. Not somebody telling me, You should do this and this and this. That's terrible.

That makes it worse.

Because if you're wrong in what you're suggesting to me, that makes me feel like you have no idea what I'm dealing with, and it pushes me even further into isolation. But it's just somebody just being present there with me. That's the best way to help somebody who's struggling like I did.

Wow. For the person that's listening or watching that feels like they're in that moment right now, what's some advice you have for them to go seek that love or to know that there is something coming on the other side that's better?

Well, I'll tell you what happened with me is As same thing as it was, I found enough strength to drive myself to emergency room at Walter Reid, where I got admitted to the psych ward, and I spent time in the psychiatric ward, which was not pleasant, but it It took away all of the stimulation that was crushing me. I got a little bit of clarity. While I was there, I realized that I was a victim. I got terrible care through the military channels. I got terrible care from the VA. It's very easy to feel as a soldier that they should take care of me. When it wasn't happening, I became a victim. When you're a victim, you don't see the solutions, you just see the problems, and you have no control over the situation. While I was at the psych ward, I decided that I was responsible. I raised my hand to volunteer to serve in the military. I raised my hands to join the Special Operations Community. I decided that it's my responsibility and I need to figure it out. This is when once that happened, I stopped blaming people and I started to look for answers.

I started to listen to podcasts just like yours. I started to read books, and I started to learn about what's going on inside of me. Then Jordan Peterson's book, Twelve Rules for Life, was very helpful to me. There was two books, Ryan Holidades, The Obstacle is the Way, made me look at my situation like, This is my opportunity for growth. Then Jordan Peterson's book just helped me figure out how to to start the process, which I started with one simple thing that I would show up for myself. I would write in the journal. I didn't even know what the purpose was. It was, Today's the day, and I did it. It was just this small act. Then it just made me feel a little better. Then it led to the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. Five years later, I'm a different person.

I love that, my man. I love that. What I heard from you, Pasha, and again, you and I have talked about this, but it's okay to seek help. Actually, that's what we should be doing. It doesn't matter your age, your gender, anything. You don't have to be Superman, Superwoman 24/7. It's okay to not be okay and to seek help for that, right?

Yeah, especially if you've been through trauma. It doesn't have to be a combat trauma. We all deal with It's more than okay to seek help, but boy, it's hard. It's one of the most difficult things that I had to do. It takes a ton of strength. It takes a ton of strength. That's how you should see it. Seeking help is you showing the world that you have strength to show up for yourself. It's like, I need you help me. That takes strength. That's what I received back once I started speaking out about this stuff. Thousands of people have told me, have expressed to me how much courage and strength this shows where you think it's the opposite when you're in that lonely place and afraid to ask for help.

Yeah, man. Again, I admire you for for all that you do, and you've turned this into now you're helping people all over the world. You're a huge advocate of mental health. You're a huge advocate of just having special missions in life. When did that become a thing for you? When did you say, Okay, I'm overcoming. Now it's my purpose to help others?

Well, it happened very naturally. I never thought I would be speaking publicly about my struggles. That was the last thing that I thought I would be in this world. The way it happened for me is once I started to feel better, having been in that dark place, I noticed I could sense when somebody else is struggling. I would help a teammate and then another guy. Then one of the guys invited me to speak in front of a veteran nonprofit where I helped a group of people. That caused that chain reaction that opened this a whole new world to me, to where I meet amazing people like yourself. It happened naturally over the past five years, and I'm really excited to see where it goes next.

I love that, dude. I love that. Let's take a moment and talk about the relationship with Robert Irvine and the foundation. How did that occur? We'll go through some of the things that you're continuing to do with the foundation. But what was the first moment? When was the first contact?

My first contact with him, obviously, I knew who he was, but my first contact with him was in Scotland doing the Kettering Yump, which is a 54-mile race through the Scottish Highlands. I was supposed to be there with Cee Zee. And last minute, Cee Zee had to cancel, so I went by myself. I didn't really know anybody. I was just running the Yump by myself when I ran into Robert in his scene. I just I introduced myself, and you know how easy Robert is to talk to, and you don't be anybody special. And when you're walking for 50 something miles running, there's plenty of time to talk. So we just had a natural conversation, and I shared a little bit about my journey and my desire to help and impact others, which obviously that's all that he does. We talked about Cee Zee, and then that was it. I didn't think I would run into him again until Cee Zee's retirement. I didn't even know that they were friends. Then when Cee Zee was retiring, I came to his retirement, and Robert was there, and we had a great conversation about the Yump. Then as if it was meant to be, I was like, Hey, what are you...

I'm just curious, what's next for you? He's like, Oh, I'm hosting this Veterans Day parade in Philadelphia, live on TV. I was like, That's funny because I'm jumping in into Independence Hall with a huge American flag to kick off that parade. So naturally, our world just became intertwined, and I kept running into Robert and kept meeting amazing people around him.

Yeah, great dude. Great story. I tell him all the time, Robert's never met a stranger. For someone with such celebrity status, he literally is the everyday man. I think that's one of the things I appreciate He's going to call you by your first name. He's going to make you and embrace you like you're the greatest person on Earth that day. He genuinely means it and feels that.

Then he'll also call you out.

The boner, Robert.

He'll call you out on your stuff. Absolutely. In a very In a very encouraging way that will make you better.

Absolutely. He's definitely the accountability partner that you want because he's going to give it to you straight, but then also, like As you said, encourage you, push you, motivate you, and believe in you. I think that's a great trait of Robert. It's also something that you have, man, because you motivate and hold me accountable as well. I think that's why we are as close as we are, man. I was so honored earlier this year at one of my events to have you. You talked about parachuting in with the flag. To have you do that at one of my events was literally the highlight of that event. If If anyone talks about anything at my June lead loud event, it is the moment that Pasha came in. I was so honored. The technical difficulties we had with weather from a timing perspective, you had an award for Robert coming in, but that moment was so beautiful. In the videos that we have of that, I'm always going to remember.

I'm so grateful you invited me to do that. That was special. I know I think those difficulties made It makes you special. But man, there's something powerful seeing a Star-Spangled banner that large come land at your event.

When did that become something that you became passionate about doing? Not just the parachute jumping, but again, I think when people see it, especially the first time you see it, and you see the flag and the patriotism that's going along with it, when How did you know that that was something you wanted to do for others?

Well, this is also something that happened naturally. I attended this Warrior Weekend to remember, which was hosted by the parachute team. I was not on the team. That's when I learned about what the team does, what fast tracks does. It was a very natural fit. I was a freefall instructor in the army, and I love jumping. Jumping was one of my coping mechanisms because when you're fallen out of a plane, you forget about your struggles. You're just there. Once I got retired from the army, I found out about the team. I tried out for the team, and the team is just filled with amazing people that love this nation. We get to jump in into some high-profile events, honoring our nation, honoring our heroes. It was an instant moment. But what I was missing is the skill to be able to fly flag that big into a stadium or into a small space like Independence Hall. It took some time for me to get up on that level. But it's been a few years, and I find a ton of meaning in those jumps.

Wow. Dude, and they're so special. I mean, they're heartfelt. They have purpose. Like I said, the patriotism that you just feel immediately is second to none. I mean, so much so that all of my friends that were there, I think half of them reached out because they also do events or special deals, and they're like, We need Pasha to come do that for us. I'm like, Dude, it's going to change your life when you see it for sure. I want to go into some of the things you're doing now. Another friend that we have, very close friend to you, accountability partner to me, Chef Andre I remember when I had him on the podcast or he was coming on and you were like, Dude, that's my buddy right there. That's my brother. I messaged him and he's like, How come the three of us have never talked together ever as much as we talk? But you have that special thing, Pasha, about connecting with people and making it genuine. Not how do you do it, but why is that important?

I think in a way, I've been blessed. There's something that I was born with to where I'm genuinely curious about people, just the human-to-human connection. But I also think the struggles that I went through I had to go so deep inside of myself, and I had to learn about myself in order to come out of that. Now I'm genuinely curious about other people and how to How to connect to people at that level. Chef Rush, he's another guy. He's so a big personality, big in general, but almost no ego. So easy to talk to. With him being a retired army master sergeant like myself, just attending veteran events, working together to influence, empower veterans, that was natural. In ways, it's easy to be with authentic people.

Yeah, totally agree. Totally agree. Pasha, again, knowing you, having conversations, one of the One of the traits that I love about you and that I actually study from you, and you don't even know this, but I study from you, is your mindset. You have not just a sharp mind, but one of the most mentally tough clarity and decision decision making, you have such a strong mindset that I want the viewers and listeners to take away a few things from you. I'm going to ask you a couple of questions. In your missions, in the military and the things that you're doing now, you've told me decisions are made in seconds. You just told us the story of 20 years ago, you had to make a decision in seconds. How do you train your mind for clarity when you're under pressure?

Man, that's a question. It comes down to knowing yourself. One, you got to be really good at what you're doing. So a ton of just like in sports, or in war, it's better to bleed in training so you don't bleed in war. So it's a ton of training beforehand and then a ton of time with yourself so that when that moment comes and you have a split decision to make, it's your instincts combined with a trust in yourself. Sometimes you make a wrong decision. It just happens. The worst thing you can do is, though, is freeze and not do anything. I think that applies to every aspect of life.

That's deep, bro. Then the second question on mindset is, what role does fear and People like to talk about fear like it doesn't exist, but fear does exist. It might not be a common, it might not be every day, but there are moments. I don't know anyone in the world that I've talked to that hasn't had a moment of fear. What role does fear play in building an elite mindset?

Well, fear is a great motivator. Fear is fear of letting other people down when you're in the military. You I don't carry my weight, if I make a mistake, it can cost my teammate his life. Fear of letting your family down. Well, it depends on what's important to you, but fear is a motivator. Either letting somebody else down, letting yourself down. For us, failure is... Sometimes it leads to a life or death situation. That's where fear is instrumental. But it's also as simple as if I'm late to a formation, then there's 30 other guys that are going to be doing push-ups until I show up. There's just fear of 30 guys hitting you, and then you're being on the wrong end of that. Fear is a motivator.

Yeah, absolutely. Then for veterans, Specifically to veterans that are struggling with identity after service, what's the first mindset shift that you've realized with yourself that they need to make in order to have a successful transition post-service?

You have to almost give up your life of service. That uniform, once it's off, it's off. That military moves on pretty quickly. It Still, nobody will ever take that away from you, but you have to start finding something new, new hobbies, new mission, new focus. They can be connected. For me, for example, the fact that I still jump It's a connection to my military service. I started training jiu-jitsu when I was 41 years old, but that physical challenge, that adrenaline that comes with jiu-jitsu matches, that's still a connection to the military, but it's not the military anymore. You have to find... It's your job to find something new and meaningful and challenging in your life. You can't hold on to the life that's behind you.

I'm going to let all the viewers and listeners know, you don't want to mess with Pasha and jiu-jitsu. This dude is a trained assassin. Do you take it easy on your coach, man?

Well, my coach is one of the best in the nation. I definitely- Of course. I hold my own. But I've only been doing it for a few years. But I like giving higher belts a run for their money, just personally. It helps them.

I know your mindset, though. You like to give them a run for their money all right. For those that don't know Pasha, Pasha is that guy that's the quiet guy that you don't want to mess with. You just know by looking at Pasha that that's who he is. He's just the quiet guy. But it's like, push a button, old Pasha will return every once in a while. You don't want him to come out. But every once in a while, it's like, you got to prove that he's still there, man. I love that, brother. I love that. I love it. Yeah.

Well, when it's play, it's play. When it's play, it's play. But if it's a real-life situation, That's a different conversation. But I think that's how most guys are. The louder you are, the less people should be afraid of you. It's just like a chihuahua barking.

My friends say that about me all the time in the business world. They're like, Mickey, you don't talk about the things you're doing. I'm like, No, I was taught to move in silence. When you let everybody know what's going on, you're never going to get there because they're going to put obstacles in. Even the people that you think are on your side are the ones that start to put obstacles in or the ones that don't believe in you like you think that they should. I learned at a very young age, move in silence, never be the loudest person in the room, and always observe what's going on because things will just naturally reveal themselves to you. I know that you and I are like that. That's why we share the bourbon. Everybody else is being loud in the corner or out front. You and I were sitting in the back corner sipping bourbon. Yeah.

That's so true about you because when we We talked, we connected. I didn't know anything about you. I didn't know you have, depending on the day, sometimes the number one podcast in the world. I didn't know any of this about you. You're not just saying this for the camera. Until I showed up at your event for the jump and then seeing the people that were there. I was like, Man, this guy's unbelievable. You let your actions speak louder than your words. I love that. I think that's also another reason why we have such a strong connection.

Amen to that, brother. Amen to that. But we're so much alike. We're so much alike. I know how busy your days are and how time is so important to you. I just feel honored that you spent some time with us today. But I've got to get you out of here on my quick five. Rapid fire five questions. You ready? Let's do it. All right. I've seen you eat, Pasha, but we're going to tell the world, what's your go-to cheat meal?

Cheet meal? Probably a Tomahawk steak.

I knew you were going to say that.

Yeah, especially if my kids are around.

You don't share either. Just throwing that picture.

I have this great picture with Chef Rush when each of us is holding a Tomahawk steak and eating it by taking a bite out of it.

Yeah, that's hilarious. All right. Mountains, beach, or battlefield? Where do you feel the most alive?

Probably the feel most alive and present on the beach. To me, it's the beach and the sunset at the end of the day. That's when I'm the most present.

I love it. What's one book that every aspiring leader must read?

Especially if you're starting out as 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson. You can't lead others if you can't lead yourself. That's been my journey. I figured how to lead myself. Then slowly, that influence started to spread outside. That's how I'm talking here to you.

Love it. I love it. Do you have one phrase or mantra that you repeat to yourself on a daily or weekly basis?

Not daily. It depends on what I'm going through. If I'm going through something challenging, it's one step at a time. One step at a time has been... Then you don't have to solve everything in one day, but you just make yourself just a little bit better today than you were yesterday. That's it. It's about the journey, not the destination I love that, brother.

I love that. Then last one, when the legacy of Pasha is being written, what are some of the words you want to be said in that legacy?

That my life was meaningful, that I made a positive impact on people around me and people that I don't even know, and that through my journey, people know that even the biggest and darkest, the worst moments can be overcome.

Wow. Dude, we have to end on that one, man. That's you. That literally is you. I can tell you personally that that story has already been fulfilled, bro. Because I told you before we started recording, everyone in my family talks about Pasha. Coming downstairs to record, my wife was like, Tell Pasha. I said hello. That's the impact that you've had on my family and in my close circle of friends. That legacy is already living.

I appreciate it. That means a lot to me coming from you.

Yes, sir. Well, Pasha, where can people find and follow you, my man?

Linkedin and Instagram, Pasha Polenker. There's only one of me on there. Then I don't have any books to sell or coaching programs or anything, but I love talking to people. I'm part of this amazing speaker agency called Liberty Speaks. I'll send you the link, and that's where people can find me on there.

I will tell you, one, we're going to have the link in the descriptions and show notes. But I also want people, reach out to Pasha. If you want someone at your event that's going to be authentic, that's going to be real, and that's going to touch your audience, Pasha is that person. So definitely make sure you're reaching out to him for engagements. His schedule is busy, so you probably want to reach out now to get him booked because every day he's in a different place. So Pasha, again, brother, appreciate you so much. Thank you for the time. And to the viewers and listeners, remember, your because is your superpower. Go, I'm meeting. Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Mic Unplug.

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